Small Things

I think sometimes we approach life as if we have to achieve something extraordinary in order to matter—both as a person and as a Christian. Degrees, positions, climbing the ladder become the goal. Even in the church we may feel immense pressure to perform—you aren’t praying enough, reading the Bible enough, sharing the gospel enough... And yet God loves little things.

“The kingdom of heaven is like a grain of mustard seed that a man took and sowed in his field... The kingdom of heaven is like leaven that a woman took and hid in three measures of flour, till it was all leavened” (Matt. 13:31-33).

It’s okay to be small, and to do small things. It is God’s work through small, broken, weak people that shows His power and glory in the end (2 Cor. 12:10). In the ESV Women’s Study Bible, the commentary on Zech. 4:10 notes “God’s work may start in small ways, yet it will reach a glorious conclusion.” God’s eternal plan doesn’t depend on us being successful in achieving great ambitions. He only asks that we be faithful.

A Quiet Mind to Suffer With, by John Andrew Bryant, about his lifelong struggle with mental illness and unwanted thoughts. He notes:

“Holiness was ordinary things set aside for God by trust in Him, a holy life was an ordinary life with ordinary things that have been offered to Christ... And this ordinary life I have, and you have, can be offered to Christ and become sacred in that way. Not extraordinary but sacred.”

Like Bryant, I’ve had this underlying assumption that if I could just learn the right answers, think the right thoughts, and rationalize my way to being “fixed,” then I could really be useful to God and achieve whatever great acts He has in store for me. Some part of me feels as though I’m just biding my time, waiting for “real” life to start. In one sense that is true, because we are all awaiting that day when all of creation is made perfect and full of joy. But that doesn’t negate the value of the little things we do day in and day out, offered to God and therefore sacred. I’ve reached middle age and haven’t done anything extraordinary with my life by human standards. But I hope I’ve been faithful in small things more often than not.

We may be inclined to judge ourselves and others by what we can see, by some arbitrary standard of visible faith. We don’t know what battles each person is facing within, and we often can’t even understand our own lives very well. Bryant uses the language of intention—is our heart’s desire to love and serve God in whatever ways we can? If so, it doesn’t matter whether our accomplishments are large or small. The prayers of the bedridden are just as necessary as the evangelism of the missionary. The meals served by the housewife are as valuable as the banquet hosted by the soup kitchen. Bandaging a child’s knee is as important as brain surgery. Little things done with love and a desire to serve God are still successes in His eyes.

“Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master” (Matt. 25:21).

© 2024 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Say What?

I know some people who, if you ask how they are, will answer “I’m blessed and highly favored!” I believe the thought behind this is probably two-fold—to remind themselves and others that God is bigger than our circumstances, and to create opportunities to tell others about their faith. Those are fine goals. However (no offense intended to those who use that phrase), I get frustrated when I hear it, which probably says more about me than about them. My first thought is usually either “I guess they don’t want to have an honest conversation,” or “I guess I’m the only one who is struggling to make it through another day.”

When asked “How are you,” most people use the default “I’m fine” or something similar. For those who have a closer relationship, perhaps the door opens to share the challenges of life and ask for prayer. In small groups, vulnerability tends to beget vulnerability. Someone has to be the first to let down their guard. While that can be difficult for those of us who struggle with depression and other mental illness, it’s even harder to be honest if we think everyone else is feeling “blessed and highly favored” and we aren’t. And in a culture that values authenticity, it’s easy to feel like you’re being shut out of relationships with those who use scripted responses to common questions.

Most of us probably know that it is God’s blessing that brings us salvation, grace, mercy, and love. Yet knowing that fact doesn’t remove the weight of living with broken bodies and minds. We know these are “light momentary afflictions” (2 Cor. 4:17) when compared with the glory of eternal life. But they don’t feel very light during the decades of this life.

Lament is a valid and valuable part of the biblical canon, particularly in the psalms. David, the “man after God’s own heart,” wrote “O my God, I cry by day, but You do not answer, and by night, but I find no rest” (Ps. 22:2), and “Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted” (Ps. 25:16). Even Jesus holds blessing and suffering in tension in the Beatitudes (Matt. 5:3-12). The poor in spirit are blessed, though they don’t see the outcome until the kingdom of heaven. Those who mourn are blessed with comfort, but they still mourn. Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, but persecution often endures for years. Blessing doesn’t negate suffering.

One might argue that for the Christian blessedness is a fact and not a feeling. However, that’s not how culture uses the term. So we end up having to analyze how this person I’m talking to understands the concept and what they mean in this particular conversation. For me, that’s too much work when I’m already overwhelmed with looking for conversational openings and balancing the weight of depression. My somewhat neurodivergent brain would much prefer that people say what they mean and mean what they say, so I’m not left wondering how I ought to respond. Church culture is hard enough to navigate without throwing around vague and confusing concepts without explanation.

“The heart of the wise makes his speech judicious… Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body” (Prov. 16:23-24).

Related Resources:

https://au.thegospelcoalition.org/article/learning-to-lament-a-guide-to-praying-in-our-hardest-moments/

https://christinemchappell.com/blog/the-soul-care-podcast/

© 2024 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.