Going Deeper

In the book Introverts in the Church: Finding Our Place in an Extroverted Culture, by Adam McHugh, the author makes a good case for the idea that:

“The perception of an extroverted Jesus might reflect a tendency within American culture to value extroversion over introversion… [In] most evangelical circles, three theological anchors—an intimate relationship with God through Jesus, the centrality of the written Word of God, and active personal evangelism—are often expressed in strikingly extroverted ways.”

Even though one-third to one-half of all people are introverts, it’s interesting (and perhaps alarming) how many of us feel marginalized because we don’t measure up to someone else’s extroverted standards for what a good Christian looks like. Here are just a few common characteristics of introverts from McHugh’s book:

• Prefer to relax alone or with a few close friends 
• Consider only deep relationships as friends 
• Tend to think before we speak or act 
• May prefer a quiet atmosphere 
• Dislike small talk 
• Prefer to work on own rather than with a group 
• May prefer written communication

Consider how that list compares to many church gatherings where: high attendance is the measure of effectiveness; socializing before and after is practically mandatory; discussion often stops at the level of the least knowledgeable person in the group and is dominated by a few vocal members. “The mark of a progressing faith becomes participation in an increasing number of activities and familiarity with an increasing number of people.” For an introvert, just imagining that scenario can be exhausting.

I was halfway through writing this when I discovered that Christianity Today had just posted an article on a similar theme, “The Gospel Doesn’t Always Have to Come with a Housekey.” Sara Kyoungah White makes the point that hospitality doesn’t have to look the same for every person or family, and it may also change with different seasons of life.

Kelly Kapic wrote in You’re Only Human in regards to the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22-23, “all [are] the Spirit’s fruit, but they often look and taste a bit different among the variety of particular trees that inhabit the Lord’s land.” Although every human is created in the image of God, we each reflect that image a little differently. The diversity of humanity reveals God’s creativity.

In the various things I’ve been reading and studying the past few weeks, I’ve realized how often I’ve judged myself by someone else’s style and personality and then felt inferior and deficient. A lot of the things that I tried in college were proof of what I definitely did not want to do in life. I attempted them mostly because of peer pressure and the misguided assumption that “This is what good Christians are supposed to do.” I still don’t know how I survived two years on summer ministry teams with week after week of camps and VBS programs when I felt overwhelmed and exhausted by trying to be someone I’m not.

Our culture, for all its emphasis on tolerance, has a pretty narrow definition of “normal,” and ends up alienating and dividing humanity into numerous subcultures where we each hope to find love and acceptance. The church has not been immune to this problem, as we’ve tried to fit others into whatever mold we think is good. It might help if we took the time to get to know one another on a deeper level and realize how diverse we really are. McHugh comments:

“In an increasingly fragmented, fast-paced, chatter-filled world, I consider the great gift introverts bring to the world and the church to be a longing for depth. Spiritually mature introverts offer an alternative to our contemporary lifestyle, one that is thoughtful, imaginative, and slower.”

That paragraph describes what I long to experience more often—in worship, in learning, and in relationships. The difficulty is in making space in the conversation for introverts to contribute our perspectives. (That’s why many of us prefer writing!) What might that look like in your church, class, or group? What influence could that have on your perceptions of hospitality, youth ministry, and evangelism?

“But [Jesus] would withdraw to desolate places and pray” (Luke 5:15).

“Come to Me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matt. 11:28).

© 2022 Dawn Rutan text and picture. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

My Weird-Wired Brain

I found this video online of research from Dr. Russell Hurlburt on the topic of inner monologue. He lists five general ways that people think—inner speaking, seeing, feeling, sensory, and unsymbolized—but there is a lot of overlap and variation. It would be interesting to see if there are patterns related to learning styles, career choices, mental illness, and developmental challenges.

I’m becoming increasingly aware that human brains do not function exactly the same for all people. Following are a few examples of the way my brain works. I have no idea if these are unique or common, and I’d be curious to find out.

Images

In recent years there have been articles popping up on the internet about aphantasia, an inability to see mental pictures. Some people see no pictures, others see variations from simple black and white to full color, lifelike images. In my case, I see everything in full detail; however, I tend to see things from a certain perspective. I do a lot of drawing and when I want to draw, say, a hummingbird* I search for images online so I can make sure I get my dimensions correct. But I can only use images that match my mental picture. It has to be facing the right direction. (Animals usually have to be facing the left side of my paper.) I can’t simply turn my mental image or my drawing around. Oddly, saving the computer image and reversing it doesn’t help much because I remember the original and then it looks wrong reversed.

I have the same perspective limitations when thinking of rooms. If someone asked me to describe my bedroom, I’d describe it as seen from the doorway. This would be true even if I were laying on my bed at the time. This may be similar to my memory of where certain images or concepts appear on the pages of books. Although I read some eBooks, I find it harder to read when things aren’t always in the same place and I can’t see the surrounding context. (This is a good argument for using a physical Bible and using the same Bible for as long as possible.)

When going someplace new, I like to have a mental map of the area. If I use my phone app to give me directions, I don’t know where I am in relation to other roads. More than once I’ve gone the wrong direction because I wasn’t paying enough attention to my phone and didn’t know where I was even in my own city.

Numbers

Even though I work in accounting and love numbers, I am bad at mental math. Someone may ask “What’s 36 * 9?” and I would turn on my adding machine. For as long as I can remember I’ve used touch point math, even before I knew there was such a thing. I don’t recall ever being taught that, but I happened to find a method that worked for me. I’ve recently started playing the Nerdle game online, and I struggle to do some of the math without writing it down or using a calculator.

Conversations

In social settings, I’m always trying to figure out what to say and exactly how to say it. I have to think things through before I’ll open my mouth. Unfortunately, this often means that the subject changes before I have found the right words, so I won’t say anything at all. Some people seem to be able to think while they speak, which I find difficult.

If I have to explain something and I start mentally rehearsing it, I have to go through it from beginning to end before my brain will let me move on to something else. I can’t skip from A to D, no matter how simple B and C are. If I do try to fast forward, I’ll have to start over at A.

Following certain conversations or meetings, I will often rehearse what was said almost verbatim. This is definitely not because I want to, but because my brain won’t stop. This tends to happen more if the conversation was emotionally charged.

Concluding Thoughts

God has created widely diverse people, and I don’t think I’ve always fully appreciated this. We’re so quick to put labels on people to categorize and segregate them. But people don’t fit in nice little boxes, and we were never meant to. We should be slow to label variations of human development and processing as “right” or “wrong” even if something is statistically far more common. Different is not necessarily bad.

“For who knows a person’s thoughts except the spirit of that person, which is in him? So also no one comprehends the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God” (1 Cor. 2:11).

*When I write my pastor’s paychecks, I usually decorate the envelope. This was the most recent one.

© 2022 Dawn Rutan text and picture. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.