Broken

“Trust Him in all this brokenness. It is a gift” (Ann Voskamp, The Broken Way).

I’m tired of brokenness.
I’m tired of a broken world,
  culture,
    system.
I’m tired of broken people
  breaking people,
Broken by sin,
  sickness,
    death.
I’m tired of being broken.
I don’t want to be weak,
  needy,
    dependent.
I’m tired of the pangs of sorrow,
  shame,
    anger,
      pain.
I want to feel strong,
  capable,
    prepared.
But You love the broken,
  the weak,
    the needy,
      the anxious.
You bind up the broken,
  use the humble,
    save the sinful.
Unless the ground
  is broken
    it cannot accept the seed.
Unless the grain of wheat
  is broken
    it cannot multiply.
Unless the grains
  are broken
    there is no bread.
Unless the grapes
  are crushed
    there is no wine.
Unless the Lord
  was broken
    there is no Savior.
Unless His blood
  was spilled out
    there is no redemption.
Unless the proud,
  self-sufficient,
    sinful
      are broken
        there is no mercy.
Broken is the gift
  we didn’t ask for,
    didn’t want,
      desperately need.
Broken is where
  He meets us,
    calls us,
      saves us.
Broken is where
  we find Him,
    see Him,
      cling to Him.
In the Broken One
  is where we find life,
    breath,
      hope,
        peace.
In the Broken One
  is where we live,
    and move,
      and have our being.

“For thus says the One who is high and lifted up, who inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy: ‘I dwell in the high and holy place, and also with him who is of a contrite and lowly spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly, and to revive the heart of the contrite” (Isaiah 57:15 ESV).



© 2020 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Faithful Endurance

 The Apostle Paul made an interesting comment in his second letter to Timothy:

“You, however, have followed my teaching, my conduct, my aim in life, my faith, my patience, my love, my steadfastness, my persecutions and sufferings that happened to me at Antioch, at Iconium, and at Lystra—which persecutions I endured; yet from them all the Lord rescued me” (2 Tim. 3:10-11 ESV).

What events was he referring to in these three cities?

Antioch- “But when the Jews saw the crowds, they were filled with jealousy and began to contradict what was spoken by Paul, reviling him…[They] stirred up persecution against Paul and Barnabas, and drove them out of their district” (Acts 13:45, 50).

Iconium- “When an attempt was made… to mistreat them and to stone them, they learned of it and fled” (Acts 14:5-6).

Lystra- “But Jews came from Antioch and Iconium, and having persuaded the crowds, they stoned Paul and dragged him out of the city, supposing that he was dead” (Acts 14:19).

Being stoned and thought dead is extreme persecution, and yet Paul’s reflection is that “from them all the Lord rescued me.” It wasn’t just that Paul survived those events, but that he knew his life was always in God’s hand. “For me to live is Christ and to die is gain” (Phil. 1:21). As he wrote to the Romans, “I am sure that neither death nor life… will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Rom. 8:38-39).

We in the western church often have a rather one-dimensional understanding of rescue. Many church prayer meetings focus almost exclusively on God’s deliverance from any kind of suffering, rather than through suffering. We assume that God will receive more glory by healing and delivering us than He would by enabling us to be faithful witnesses in sickness, persecution, and death. Paul wrote to the Corinthians:

“But as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: by great endurance, in afflictions, hardships, calamities, beatings, imprisonments, riots, labors, sleepless nights, hunger” (2 Cor. 6:4-5).

He says that his reputation as God’s representative is illustrated by enduring hardship, not by being protected from it. Many of our brothers and sisters in Christ around the world have a much more robust theology of suffering because they endure it every day. We’ve been pampered by our culture for a while, but that is not going to last. More Christians are going to suffer in one way or another, and we need to endure as faithful witnesses through whatever trials God allows to come our way.

Lord, keep us faithful to You as You have been faithful to us in and through every circumstance.

“We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies” (2 Cor. 4:8-10).

© 2020 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Losing It

 Jen Oshman writes in Enough About Me:

“The cultural air we breathe fills us with optimism. And so we take deep breaths, and we keep running for the goal. Create your own destiny. You be you. Reach for the stars. You can be a self-made woman. You are in charge of your own happiness. You get what you give. Never let them see you sweat. Follow your dreams. Make it happen. You are enough… Almost without exception and as if on cue, we reach the end of ourselves. The coffee cup is empty. The self-talk grows quiet. We collapse on the couch. We are tired. This isn’t working. Someone send help” (26-27).

While other Christian authors are trying to tell us we’re “exactly enough” and “find your best life now,” Scripture presents a different picture. In the Apostle Paul’s letters we read:

“God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong… so that no human being might boast in the presence of God… ‘Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 1:27, 29, 31 ESV; see also 2 Cor. 10:13-18).

“Such is the confidence that we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God” (2 Cor. 3:4-5).

“But [God] said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me” (2 Cor. 12:9).

And our Lord Jesus Himself said, “If anyone would come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow Me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake and the gospel’s will save it” (Mark 8:34-35). Taking up your cross daily sounds a lot different than “become the best you you can be.” And praying “give us this day our daily bread” (Matthew 6:11) is a picture of dependency, not accomplishment. Oshman goes on:

“Undoubtedly you’ve heard the comforting American quip, God never gives us more than we can handle. And perhaps you’ve thought to yourself, Really? Because this feels like a lot more than I can handle. I’m with you—in my experience, God often gives us way more than we’re comfortable with, so that we might cry out to him… This turning to God is a sort of death. We ultimately realize we cannot handle ourselves, our souls, our futures, our contentment. We need something. Someone, outside of ourselves. We need our Creator who is also our Redeemer, our rescuer, our load bearer” (66).

I don’t know about anyone else, but I am frequently reminded of my inadequacy and weaknesses. I can’t do all I need to do and all I want to do, and I can’t be anything I want to be. Years ago I read that the cross we each must bear is our own weakness in all its forms—unfulfilled desires, temptations, physical and mental limitations, lack of abilities and opportunities. It is perhaps the antithesis of the American dream.

There is no strength to be found by “believing in yourself.” Freedom doesn’t come from being self-accepting and authentic. Rather, strength and freedom are found in Christ alone as we rely on Him to accomplish His work in and through us. The Christian life is not about maximizing our potential but resting in Christ—not what I can do but what He has done. Denying myself and losing my life means letting go of what I want and think I need and embracing whatever God supplies. And it’s not just sinful desires that must be surrendered either—there are many good desires that God will not fulfill in this lifetime. Each of us probably have things that we wish were different in our lives and we may even be praying for God to change them, but He may be saying “My grace is sufficient, just trust Me.”

I can’t change myself or my world, but I can choose to trust the One who is in control of all things. I can’t pull myself up by my own bootstraps, but I can believe in the One who upholds me by His hand.

“I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me… And my God will supply every need of yours according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:12-13, 19).

© 2020 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.