Last week I wrote a bit about hospitality in the context of
spiritual gifts. This week I’m reading Sam Allberry’s book 7 Myths about Singleness, and he
makes several good comments about Christian family and how that relates to our
responsibility for hospitality:
“We’re a body [Romans 12:4-5]. We
belong to one another… We’re invested in one another, and therefore I need to
know what the Christian life is like for you in your situation, and you need to
know what it’s like for me in mine… [It] shows me that as a single person, I
have a stake in the health of the marriages in my church family. And those who
are married have a stake in the health of my singleness. It’s part of what
belonging to one another involves” (15).
“We may well have been blessed by
our biological, nuclear family… This is a precious gift and one that you have
solemn responsibilities toward. But it is not your only kind of family, or the
only set of people to whom you owe such a significant amount. If you’re a
Christian, the fellowship to which you belong is your family too. And while
that might feel like it creates a tension or competition, the opposite is meant
to be the case. These two types of family are designed to be overlapping and
interlocking in a way that helps each to flourish in a way that wouldn’t
otherwise be the case” (69).
“Sometimes it’s actually not making a fuss over a visitor that
can make them feel more special and at home. They’re not being given a
specially vetted version of family life; they’re being included in the real
deal, warts and all… Too often what we’re really doing is not hospitality but
entertaining. We’re putting on a good show. We’re showing someone the Instagram
version of our home life rather than the actual version of it. A sign that this
is the case is that hospitality becomes infrequent and extravagant. But in the
Bible, hospitality is opening up our real lives to others (often and especially
the stranger) and inviting them in. You don’t technically need a physical space
to invite people into… It is as much about doing life with others, wherever and
however we happen to do it” (72).
“Show hospitality to one another
without grumbling (1 Pet. 4:9)… Peter is not so much telling us to do a certain
kind of thing but to be a certain kind of person: someone who is willing
and eager to share life and home with others. It is even important enough to be
a qualification for anyone in church leadership [1 Tim. 3:2-3]… I have seen
people disqualified from church leadership because of drunkenness and marital
infidelity, but I’ve never heard of hospitality even being considered in a
would-be pastor” (73).
I appreciate the reminder that hospitality is not the same
as entertaining. Entertaining is only one form of hospitality. Hospitality
could just as easily take the form of inviting a friend to join you for lunch
at Taco Bell, taking a walk together in the park, watching the kids’ sporting
events together, or thousands of other examples. It’s more about sharing
together in the routine things of life and faith than planning special events
and extravagant dinners.
We’ve been misled by some who teach that hospitality
is a spiritual gift only exercised by a few. Rather it is commanded of all
Christians to be welcoming of others and to truly love one another. The Greek
word for hospitality literally translates as “loving strangers.” Yes, there are
some people who are more gifted at planning for and hosting guests, but none of
us are let off the hook for loving others because “I don’t have the gift.” All
of us, married and single alike, would benefit from building friendships that simply
share life together outside of the established schedule of the church.
“Let love be genuine…
Love one another with brotherly affection… Contribute to the needs of the saints
and seek to show hospitality… Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those
who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate
with the lowly…” (Romans 12:9-16 ESV).
“So, being
affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only the
gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had become very dear to us”
(1 Thessalonians 2:8).
© 2019 Dawn
Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from
pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of
my church or employer.
