Unencumbered

Recently I was presented with an opportunity to buy a nice house in a good neighborhood not far from work. I started researching all the costs of buying and owning even before knowing the asking price. The more I thought about it, the less comfortable I was with going in debt for something I don’t really need to have. The tipping point came when I thought about the monthly obligation of a mortgage as compared to the flexibility of having money in the bank. I’m not saying home ownership is wrong for everybody, but here are some of the reasons I think it is wrong for me at this time:

“I want you to be free from anxieties… The unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit” (1 Corinthians 7:32, 34 ESV). Although home ownership doesn’t have the same permanence that marriage does, it is still a long-term commitment to the welfare of something other than God. As a renter, I know that my residence will be taken care of when issues arise. It may not be done exactly the way I would choose to do it for myself, but I also don’t have to figure out how to pay for it myself (except for the fact that my landlord is also my employer, and I’m the one who writes the checks!). The anxieties of home ownership could easily sap the joy and peace out of daily living.

“Each one should remain in the condition in which he was called… For he who was called in the Lord as a slave is a freedman of the Lord. Likewise, he who was free when called is a slave of Christ. You were bought with a price; do not become slaves of men” (1 Cor. 7:20, 22-23). Owing money can be a form of slavery. In New Testament times, at least some of those who were slaves were people who sold themselves into slavery in order to pay debts. If a mortgage payment forces me to change or limit how I would otherwise use my money, it has become my master.

“For they [the Macedonians] gave according to their means, as I can testify, and beyond their means, of their own accord, begging us earnestly for the favor of taking part in the relief of the saints—and this, not as we expected, but they gave themselves first to the Lord and then by the will of God to us… For if the readiness is there, it is acceptable according to what a person has, not according to what he does not have” (2 Cor. 8:3-4, 12). I can’t give what I don’t have. Giving financial support to ministries has always been a high priority for me, and tying up money in property would hinder my ability to respond to needs I see. While considering mortgage payments, I started thinking of a special project that I could donate to instead, and that stirred my passion far more than the possibility of home ownership.

“You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? …Come now, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit’—yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring” (James 4:3-4,13-14). The American dream is all about investing today in order to provide for tomorrow, but there are no guarantees. Stock markets and housing markets crash; houses burn down; people lose jobs or die unexpectedly; and someday the Lord will return and put an end to all our buying and selling. What will really matter when that day comes?

In the midst of these internal debates, I’ve been reading two books that have helped to confirm my decision. One is John Piper’s book Don’t Waste Your Life. He relates the story of a man his father ministered to who neared the end of his life and realized “I’ve wasted it! I’ve wasted it!” Piper includes the old poem, “Only one life, ‘twill soon be past; Only what’s done for Christ will last” (p. 12). I can’t reconcile in my own mind how buying a house can be done for Christ in my current circumstances. (Hospitality is not one of my strengths, so I can’t justify it by means of serving people who need a place to stay.) I don’t want to come to the end of a mortgage and find I’ve wasted years of joy and peace for the uncertain future of a few years of retirement.

The other book that spoke to me was I Want God, by Lisa Whittle. She quotes a sermon by David Wilkerson, “A Call to Anguish,” and her response, “‘There’s nothing of the flesh that will give you joy. I don’t care how much money, I don’t care what kind of new house. There is absolutely nothing physical that can give you joy.’ I’m fresh out of good, churchy answers. What I do know is that the world has gotten to us. The church. All of us. And we look scary normal” (pp. 150-151). She goes on to quote Deuteronomy 8:11-14:

“Take care lest you forget the Lord your God by not keeping His commandments and His rules and His statutes, which I command you today, lest, when you have eaten and are full and have built good houses and live in them, and when your herds and flocks multiply and your silver and gold is multiplied and all that you have is multiplied, then your heart be lifted up, and you forget the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery.”

I’m convicted anew that many Christians today are indistinguishable from the world. We’ve adopted the same standard of living and priorities, and aren’t willing or able to make some of the hard choices. Again, I’m not saying that home ownership is wrong. Under certain circumstances it may be more fiscally responsible than renting, particularly for growing families or for those who wouldn’t require a mortgage. But we will each have to give an account for our stewardship of all that God has entrusted to us, and I don’t want to have to explain having chosen something that I’m not entirely comfortable with.

“As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace… in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ” (1 Peter 4:10-11).

-------

Funnily enough, several weeks ago I was asked to write a post for today our denominational prayer blog, and the following is what I had written...

With all the books, magazines, blogs, and conferences on prayer, you would think we’d have it all figured out by now. Even though we know that God’s answers may be yes, no, or wait, we still fall into the trap of thinking we’ll get the answer we want if we just pray the right words with the right attitude, if we pray more fervently and frequently, if we just had more faith… And if we’re honest, we would have to admit that we’ve been disappointed at times.

On more than one occasion Jesus was asked to heal someone, but He didn’t do so until after they had died (Mark 5:21-43, John 11). He healed some people but not others (John 5:1-9). He slept through the storm while the disciples were terrified. When they woke Him and He calmed the storm, they wondered, “What sort of man is this, that even winds and sea obey Him?” (Matthew 8:27 ESV).

God is so powerful and so unpredictable that it’s amazing to think we can influence Him in any way. And yet we’re told to present our requests to God (Philippians 4:6) and to cast all our cares upon Him (1 Peter 5:7). He knows all that we think and desire, but He wants us to verbalize those desires in communication with Him. We need to have enough faith to trust Him with our concerns, and yet our faith is often strengthened by not receiving exactly what we want when we want it. Faith requires us to believe that God’s plan is far bigger and better than we can yet imagine. That should not prevent us from asking God for what appears best to us at the moment, but may in fact allow us to ask more boldly because we trust the Father’s will.

I remember when they were small my nieces filled up on goldfish crackers because they were too hungry to wait for Thanksgiving dinner. Their immediate need felt far more important than waiting patiently and trusting that something better was coming. We don’t change much as we grow up—our needs just feel that much bigger and more important. But hopefully our faith in our heavenly Father grows even bigger.

May we learn to ask boldly, but wait patiently for whatever God has in store for us.

Come Forth

Recently I was reading a fiction book by Staci Stallings that included the following comment in a pastor’s sermon, “Over and over again, He says, ‘I understand. I understand. I know what you’re going through. I’ve been there, but you don’t have to stay there. See, I have rolled back the stone on your tomb too.’” That created an interesting mental picture for me. How often does God have to remind us that we don’t have to live in the tomb anymore? Our subconscious thoughts are often like this:

• “I’ve sinned; excuse me while I go sit in the tomb.”
• “I’m angry; I want to be alone in my hole.”
• “Someone hurt me; just let me curl up in my cave.”
• “I’m a failure; I don’t deserve to come into the light.”

But God keeps saying “The stone has been rolled away! Come out into life and light. My Son took care of every sin and shame so you can walk in freedom. This tomb is not your home anymore.” Jesus asked the man at the pool of Bethesda (John 5:6 ESV), “Do you want to be healed?” In other words, do you want to leave behind what is familiar and comfortable and come out of your tomb?

Sometimes we invite others to join us in our tombs by seeking sympathy rather than the encouragement and help to find our way out. We indulge in gossip, slander, and bitterness rather than forgiving. And sometimes we put others back in their tombs through shame and judgmentalism rather than helping them to find freedom in Christ. We also have an enemy who is glad to make us think we’re still dead in our trespasses and sins in order to keep us from being who God has called us to be and doing all He has called us to do (Ephesians 2:4-10).

The New Testament writers felt the need to remind believers of their true freedom:

•  “Live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants of God” (1 Peter 2:16).
• “Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom” (2 Corinthians 3:17).
• “For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery” (Galatians 5:1).

As with all areas of the Christian life, we have to know the truth in order to live by it. Jesus said, “If you abide in My word, you are truly My disciples, and you will know the truth and the truth will set you free… So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed” (John 8:31-32, 36). This knowing and testing is the process of transforming the mind set out in Romans 12:1-2.

I don’t know about you, but I want to live in greater freedom, no longer bound by the old grave clothes. 

Prayer - Rest

I wrote the following post for today for our denomination's prayer blog for Prayer Emphasis month: https://acgcblog.wordpress.com/

“A long time afterward, when the Lord had given rest to Israel from all their surrounding enemies, and Joshua was old and well advanced in years, Joshua summoned all Israel… and said to them, ‘…You have seen all that the Lord your God has done to all these nations for your sake, for it is the Lord your God who has fought for you.’” –Joshua 23:1-3 ESV

The Lord is the one who fights for us, and the Lord is the one who gives us rest. It’s tempting for us to say, “I’ve worked hard and I’ve earned a rest,” but that doesn’t seem to be the model Scripture lays out. The Ten Commandments indicate that the Sabbath is intended to remind us that in Creation God worked for six days and then rested. Throughout the Bible we are reminded that God is the one who creates, destroys, saves, and redeems. Even the good works that we do are those “which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them” (Ephesians 2:10).

Our lives would be much more restful if we fully believed that God is the one at work and that it doesn’t depend on us to keep the world running. Yes, we have a role to fill, but God can still accomplish His purposes while we’re sleeping, waiting, or enjoying time off with the family. If we don’t get enough rest, there is likely to come a day when we are forced to rest due to illness or injury.

So as we approach God in prayer, may we remember and be thankful for all the work that God has done and is doing on our behalf, and may we learn to trust Him more for what He will do around us, in us, and through us. We can rest in His promises, “For it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure” (Philippians 2:13).

Telling God's Story

This is a slightly different post from usual. I mentioned in my last post that I’d picked up four random books from the library, never expecting them to share a theme. Here are three quotes that struck me as I read:

Mourning Into Dancing, by Walter Wangerin – “Talitha [his daughter], in order to end in love with your self, start with God. Love God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. Trust him completely. Obey him. And then, in perfect trust, know this: that whatever God makes is beautiful. Whatever God loves is lovely, just because he loves it. And whoever lives within his will is full of grace and favor. Daughter, perfect hands have fashioned you. And God loves you, Talitha, so much that he sent his Son to save you” (58-59).

Confessions of a Caffeinated Christian, by John Fischer – After sharing with a psychologist the story of his difficult birth and near death, the psychologist said, “‘John, do you know what that means? … That means that God wanted you to live! …Well, that’s a pretty big deal.’ So that was it all along. God wanted me alive and breathing. He wanted me. I am alive, not because of what I did, or was going to do, or how I got here. I am alive, period, and suddenly that alone became a pretty big deal” (6).

Bring Back the Joy, by Sheila Walsh –  “When you love God you love the things God loves. God loves you. It’s embarrassing and uncomfortable to be loved when we feel that we should be despised, but God is God… Saint Bernard of Clairvaux charts out four steps we take in the process of losing ourselves and finding ourselves in God…
Step 1. We love ourselves for our own sake.
Step 2. We love God for our own sake.
Step 3. We love God for his sake.
Step 4. We love ourselves for God’s sake” (90).

It’s evident from these quotes that I’m not the only one who needs to be reminded that my life matters because God has created me and loves me as His child. The fourth book I picked up indicates one thing we are to do with that knowledge:

To Be Told, by Dan Allender – “We are God’s story, which means we are expertly written. We are called to write our story with God in order to bring him more glory. We write our story best by giving our heart away to others whom we honor as more important than ourselves. What we give to others is a unique story, a theme that reveals God like no other story can… Since our stories reveal God, no story is ours alone… But our story does not need to be told to everyone, even the most intimate friends. We are to be guardians of our story, and it is to be given as a gift—not wantonly but carefully. It is a gift to be given only to the right person at the right time for the right reason” (209-210).

God has granted us life, and unique events have shaped us into the people we are today and who we will be tomorrow. Our stories are the one thing we can claim as our own. Possessions may be lost; jobs come to an end; people can steal our pride and security; relationships can end for numerous reasons including sin and death. But through it all we have the story of how God has used all our circumstances to shape us. We can hide our stories out of shame and fear, or we can share them at the right times to give God glory and to encourage others, as well as to receive encouragement from others.

“You have multiplied, O Lord my God, Your wondrous deeds and Your thoughts toward us; none can compare with You! I will proclaim and tell of them, yet they are more than can be told.” –Psalm 40:5

He Knows My Name

Last week I went to the library and picked up a few Christian books that at first glance seemed to be unrelated. But as I’ve gotten into them I’ve found several similarities. Two of them, Mourning into Dancing, by Walter Wangerin, and To Be Told, by Dan Allender, talk particularly about the names we are given. Allender states:

“Today it is rare that parents first study a child in order to give the child a name that fits. Far more often we pick a family name, or we choose a name that sounds good and has a meaning that we like. The Hebrew process of naming was exactly the opposite. A name was chosen that reflected the unique calling and character of the child. It is for this reason that many Bible characters were renamed later in life... Each change in name points to a day when we will receive an entirely new name. The Bible tells us that those who seek God will one day be given a new name: ‘Everyone who is victorious will eat of the manna that has been hidden away in heaven. And I will give to each one a white stone, and on the stone will be engraved a new name that no one knows except the one who receives it.’ When I stand before God, I will be given a new name in a moment of tender, inconceivable intimacy” (29-30 quoting Revelation 2:17).

He also reminds us that we’re living in-between times. “We are between two names. We know our name; we don’t know what our new name will be... [E]very one of us human beings experiences the tension between who we are and who we will one day become.”

Like many kids, I went through a time when I didn’t like my given name and wished I could choose a different one. Mostly what I didn’t like were the derogatory names given to me by the school bullies. One classmate threatened to hurt me when she found out that we not only had the same initials but the same middle name—Christine. (Why she blamed me for that I’ll never know!) While waiting in the graduation line at college (arranged alphabetically), I was amused to learn that two of my friends standing beside me and I would have all had the same first name if we’d been boys.

These days I’m okay with the name I was given. It has family significance as well as spiritual meaning. But I do wonder what name God has for me. I’ve occasionally thought that God renames us multiple times throughout our lives depending on what we’re going through and how God reveals Himself to us. After all, God is known by multiple names throughout Scripture, so why shouldn’t we have multiple names? I can tell you some of the names He’s given me in the past: Grace, Beloved, Daughter, Faithful, Enduring.

The other day at the gas station I overheard a heated discussion between a couple men. One emphasized his point by using the other person’s name, but I got the feeling he would have rather called him “Idiot.” It reminded me of times when even a term of endearment such as “Honey” is spoken with such a tone as to convey a much different meaning. Those kinds of names don’t make you feel loved, appreciated, or special.

Jesus said, “The sheep hear His voice, and He calls His own sheep by name and leads them out” (John 10:3). There’s a frequently circulated email of quotes from kids about love. One says, “When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.” We know that our names are safe with God. He always speaks our names with love, even if we are in need of correction. He doesn’t use them in a derogatory manner. His voice breaks the power of the names the world heaps on us, along with the names we put on ourselves: failure, broken, mistake, unwanted, forgotten. He calls us by name when no one else knows who we are.

God spoke through Isaiah, “Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of My hands” (49:16a). If I were ever to get a tattoo (which is not on my bucket list), it would be something that reminded me of who God is and who I am to him. More than anything else, that is a reminder I need to see every day. God doesn’t need the reminder, but He always has us in His sight and in His hand.

“The nations shall see your righteousness, and all the kings your glory, and you shall be called by a new name that the mouth of the Lord will give. You shall be a crown of beauty in the hand of the Lord, and a royal diadem in the hand of your God. You shall no more be termed Forsaken, and your land shall no more be termed Desolate, but shall be called My Delight Is in Her...” -Isaiah 62:2-4

Unresigned

The short book Be Still, by Cherie Hill, uses the terminology of “resignation” in talking about accepting God’s will. “The more resigned we are to God’s care, the less power our circumstances have over us. When we’re resigned to God’s care, we won’t be frightened by undesirable news, and we won’t be trying to constantly figure out the next step.” Although the ideas are good, the word “resigned” made me uncomfortable. John Ortberg wrote what I was thinking in The Me I Want to Be: “Resignation is a kind of halfway house between hope and despair. In resignation, I ratchet down my desire, trying to convince myself that what I wanted so badly isn’t a big deal.”

I don’t think God wants us to be resigned to His care, as if we have to settle for something that’s less than ideal. Paul wrote, “He who did not spare His own Son but gave Him up for us all, how will He not also with Him graciously give us all things?” (Romans 8:32 ESV). We have a heavenly Father who not only knows best, but provides exactly what we need. The problem is that our ideas of what’s best may conflict with God’s perfect knowledge, and then we may need to change our mindset. That may start with resignation, but it shouldn’t end there. As Ortberg pointed out, resignation implies a loss of hope, and I would include a loss of joy along with that.

Recently I’ve encountered several articles and Facebook posts by parents of children born with Down’s syndrome. Each one has made the point that they didn’t just resign themselves to having a special needs child, but they have taken great delight and joy in caring for a special person even though that meant a change in their dreams for the future. I’m sure there are parents who are living with resignation, but I can’t imagine what a joyless existence that would be.

[I’m not convinced that resignation letters should always bear that terminology either, though sometimes it may be appropriate to communicate “I’ve given up hope in this job and I’m moving on.”]

Trusting in God should never create a loss of hope. He is the only One who can give our lives eternal purpose even in the midst of troubling situations. He is the only One who knows every detail of our lives—from the number of days we’ll live to the very thoughts in our minds. And with that knowledge, He is the only One who has the power to use negative circumstances to create something good every time. He is the only One capable of fulfilling every promise He has made in Scripture, so we can hold onto those promises with faith and hope.

I don’t want to find myself thinking “Well, I guess I’ll trust God if I have to, but I wish there were some alternative.” I’m sure God isn’t impressed with that kind of faith either. It’s okay to be disappointed for a time, but we can’t live there. Paul admonished, “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18). It would be awfully hard to fulfill those commands if we’re only resigned to accepting what comes our way. It brings no glory to God to be a grudging recipient of something that He in His infinite wisdom has allowed to come about.

Let’s not be resigned, but entrust ourselves to God’s care, to the One who enfolds us in His arms. He is the God of hope and peace.

“This God—His way is perfect; the word of the Lord proves true; He is a shield for all those who take refuge in Him.” -2 Samuel 22:31 & Psalm 18:30

Not Enough

This blog is sort of a meal in progress—I’ve been chewing on these thoughts for awhile now and I’m just beginning to digest and make sense of them. The question now is whether I can verbalize in a few paragraphs the thought processes of a few years.

Thomas Chalmers, often quoted by John Piper and others, referred to “the expulsive power of a new affection.” He explained that we can’t simply choose to turn away from sin without turning to something we perceive to be more fulfilling. “The best way of casting out an impure affection is to admit a pure one; and by the love of what is good, to expel the love of what is evil.” That’s an accurate and helpful thought, but a bit misleading if we think it happens overnight. Becoming a Christian or rededicating your life to Christ does not immediately expel every competing desire, no matter how much we might wish it to do so. I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve wondered about this—I love God and I seek to serve Him and obey Him. Scripture says “we are more than conquerors” (Romans 8:37), so why does this struggle still exist?

However, even in the midst of these questions, as I look back on the past few years I can see tangible progress that I never thought possible. I’ve tried to determine where the change occurred, and what I’ve found is a series of small decisions that have compounded over time:

• choosing to confide in my pastor and seek his counsel
• getting more serious about filling my mind with Scripture through reading and memorization
• joining small group Bible studies
• journaling my thoughts and prayers
• getting rid of some of the books, videos, and TV shows that consume my brain with destructive images
• trusting people with some of my secrets
• and even blogging about the things I’m learning along the way

None of those things were major changes in themselves, and none of them alone have the power to change my desires. None of them were a direct confrontation with sin either. But all of them, together with God’s grace and mercy, have served to expel some of those competing desires from my heart, even some that I didn’t feel any urgency to stop.

I ran across this quote by Shellie Rushing Tomlinson in Heart Wide Open:

“God reserves His intimacy for those unwilling to settle for anything less. If going to church is enough, if being around others who are passionate about Him is enough, if anything short of realizing His intimate presence for ourselves is enough, that’s all we’ll ever experience… Indeed, God placed this desire for more in us so that we might search for Him of our own volition. I’ve taken to calling it a blessed dissatisfaction. God knows that yielding our lives to Him brings us this life’s ultimate pleasure, but unlike me and my man, He’s not going to force anyone to go along with His plan… I didn’t realize that looking and listening for Him in His Word would create in me the sweetest of addictions to His friendship. I was simply ready to admit that what I had wasn’t enough. I was soon to discover that at the core of my ‘not having enough Jesus’ problem lay all my previous efforts to have ‘just enough’ Jesus” (19-21).

She puts her finger on the problem that many of us face. We want just enough Jesus to save us and make us feel good, but not so much that it interferes with our chosen lifestyles. We may want to stop a particular sin, but we don’t want to give up our freedom to choose what we watch or read or do in our free time. We don’t want to admit that the solution for slavery to sin is to become slaves of God (see Romans 6). We want some middle ground of freedom from sin while remaining masters of our own lives.

It would be easy to become judgmental about the choices that others are making, but I’ve been in the same place myself. In fact, being judgmental was one thing that kept me from changing for a long time. I subconsciously thought, “I’ve been to Bible college and seminary. I go to church every week. I work for a Christian organization. I’m doing the best I can, and I’m certainly better than those people.” But I’m sure that God allowed circumstances in my life to converge to make me realize that “just enough” wasn’t good enough. Not that I thought God would love me more if I changed, but that my desperation made me want to love Him more.

Though we probably wouldn’t say this aloud, we can get sucked into believing that grace means we can do whatever we want. We can also be deceived to think that salvation by grace alone means we don’t have to work to grow in our faith. In the theological battle against works righteousness, “obedience” has become a dirty word that pastors are afraid to use. As a result, people remain enslaved to sins when God would love to set them free. We settle for the status quo instead of seeking the One who has the power to expel all our old affections. God’s life-changing power is rarely revealed with volcanic force, but rather with the pervasive tenacity of a seedling nurtured by ordinary means of grace.

I certainly don’t feel like I have arrived, and I’m sure there are areas where I need to change that I haven’t even noticed yet. God isn’t done yet. In the words of the old hymn (public domain):

“I sought the Lord, and afterward I knew
He moved my heart to seek Him, seeking me;
It was not I that found, O Savior true;
No, I was found by Thee.”

“For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; and He died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for Him who for their sake died and was raised.” -2 Corinthians 5:13-14