Friday, June 10, 2022

Who Am I?

In many things I’ve read and listened to recently, I’ve seen a variety of comments about identity. In this helpful video from the ERLC, Katie McCoy described our cultural conflict as being an emphasis that “identity is self-created versus identity is God-given.” Whether we’re discussing gender and sexuality, personality tests, or a myriad of other topics, we’re being told that your identity is defined by how you feel. People are urged to adopt whatever labels fit them at a particular time, and then change them as often as they wish. It’s confusing for all of us to try to keep up.

The deeper issue is that every person is trying to figure out where they fit in the grand scheme of life. Those of us who have been out of school for a while can remember the various cliques that existed in our day. My high school had the jocks, popular kids, band geeks, nerds, and stoners among others. There wasn’t a whole lot of question who was in each group. After graduation most people settled into life-stage categories—college, singles, married, children, middle age, and retirees.

Now it seems like the labels are constantly changing for every age group. That can largely be tied to the increasing individualization of Western culture. No longer are we defined by our place in our local village, but we have infinite choices—where to live, what kind of work we do and who to work for, what entertainment we pursue, where or if we go to church, who we want to associate with, etc. Each choice tends to group us with certain people and segregate us from other people. If we decide we don’t quite fit in one group, we’re free to relocate to another group. So we’re constantly trying to determine what identity label best fits us at any given time. Expressive individualism is the rule of the day.

We’ve lost our sense of belonging to a relatively consistent community. The church ought to be a pillar of light and truth in this darkness and uncertainty. Andrew Walker said in the above video, “We need to recapture the idea that there are universals—universal truths… consistent with our design as human beings.” Our identity needs to be tied to how and why God created us, our role in His eternal family, and how He has gifted us with abilities and relationships.

One of the challenges we face, even while we attempt to preach the truth of God’s Word, is the tendency to adopt stereotypes that are not based in Scripture. There is a saying that “If you’ve met someone on the autism spectrum, you’ve met one person on the spectrum.” In other words, the traits and characteristics are so diverse that stereotypes are often meaningless. The same can be said of many other labels. Yes, there are some binary categories—for example male (XY) and female (XX)—but the interests, abilities, and traits of men or women, married or single, young or old, educated or uneducated, are highly variable and often overlapping. If we focus too much on cultural stereotypes, we may unintentionally alienate people who are looking for their place in our community.

I’ve wrestled with the question of identity in a variety of ways. As a Gen X single woman (among other labels), I often focus more on the things that separate me from other people than on the things that unite us. But I’ve been reminded that if we actually take time to get to know one another deeply and spend unstructured time together, we’ll usually find that we have a lot more in common than we might otherwise assume. One recent highlight for me was several hours in a van with coworkers just chatting and asking goofy questions. Even though most of us have worked together for years, it made me feel more connected to our little community.

We in the church need to remember that relationships are not built by sitting together through a worship service, but by sharing life together in a wide variety of circumstances. Our identity is not simply as children of God, but as brothers and sisters walking together through life. We can’t have the Father without also connecting to our siblings. If we find our place in the “village” of our local church, it will go a long way toward helping us feel secure, loved, and accepted in our unchanging identity in Christ and in this world.

“For in Christ Jesus you are all sons of God, through faith. For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus” (Gal. 3:27-28).

© 2022 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.