Do we all function this way—holding onto our penitent
attitude long after God has forgiven us? I find it hard to move on when I know
I’ve sinned, even though I’ve confessed and believe that I am forgiven. It’s as
though I feel I have to prove my worthiness and reprove myself. Francine Rivers
illustrates the feeling in Redeeming Love
(a retelling of the biblical story of Hosea and his prostitute-wife Gomer): “Forgiveness was a foreign word. Grace
inconceivable. Angel wanted to make up for what she had done, and she sought to
do it by labor. Mama had never been forgiven, not even after a thousand Hail
Marys and Our Fathers. So how could Angel be forgiven by a single word?” (211).
How often do we confess and then pick our burden back up to
carry awhile longer? It seems that grace is not only inconceivable but
unacceptable. Philip Yancey refers to someone who proclaimed that Bill Clinton
“doesn’t deserve the grace of God.” None of us deserve grace, or it wouldn’t be
grace! The question is whether or not we will accept it even though we don’t
deserve it.
Max Lucado also remarks on the story of Hosea in his book 3:16 The Numbers of Hope. “God will not
let you go. He has handcuffed himself to you in love. And he owns the only key.
You need not win his love. You already have it. And since you can’t win it, you
can’t lose it. As evidence, consider exhibit A: the stubborn love of Hosea for
Gomer… God uses this story, indeed orchestrated this drama, to illustrate his
steadfast love for his fickle people” (36).
In stories like The
Mission and Redeeming Love, we as
observers want to step in and tell the characters to let go of their burdens and
accept the love and forgiveness that is offered to them. Just think how much
more God wants us to let go and receive His love and forgiveness! But we
persist in our penance, remembering our sin, and carrying a burden God never
meant for us to carry.
We no longer live under the Old Testament sacrificial
system, waiting for set times to bring our sin offerings before God. We don’t
even have to abide by the Roman Catholic tradition of confessing our sins
before a priest and doing whatever penance he prescribes. Instead, we have free
access to the Father through the Son. We have forgiveness that was purchased by
His blood two millennia ago. We are free from carrying that burden whether we
realize it or not. Several authors have used the illustration of a man who
picked up a hitchhiker, but the hitchhiker would not take off his heavy
backpack because he didn’t want to impose on the driver’s generosity. If Jesus
is carrying the sin of all believers, why are we still trying to do our part
and carry our own weight?
It seems pretty ridiculous when you think about it. But the
feelings of guilt, shame, and unworthiness can quickly convince us we need to
do more, do better, and become more deserving. Perhaps, like little children,
we can learn how to be thankful instead. I doubt any parents expect their
preschoolers to cook their own dinner, but they do like to hear a word of
thanks now and then. And it’s even better if it is offered willingly and
gratefully. In the words of the familiar chorus: Give thanks with a grateful heart.
