In more serious things, as a treasurer it's sometimes a bit stressful to live and work in poor economic times. While most people just worry about their home finances, I have to monitor the finances of a non-profit corporation as well. So this week while wondering how we'll make it through the rest of this year, not to mention next year, I read the following in Moments with the Savior by Ken Gire, talking about Jesus feeding the 5,000:
"...Jesus seizes the moment to test Philip's faith. 'Where shall we buy bread for these people to eat?" The disciple puts a sharp pencil to the problem and is quick to calculate the cost. He concludes that the expenditure is beyond their budget. He puts his pencil down. 'Impossible. Can't be done.'... What Philip and Andrew don't see is that impossible situations are not solved by how much we have in our purses or in our baskets. Not by how adequate our bank account or how abundant our assets. Impossibilities are solved by miracles--pennies from heaven. And Jesus had a pocketful. That is where the disciples were to go to get bread. Jesus turns to the boy. He doesn't have much. And what he has isn't the best. It's the food of the poor: Bread made from barley, not wheat; salted-down sardines, not lambchops. But what he has is enough. For the surrender of a child and the compassion of a Savior are all that's needed for this miracle" (pp 169-170).
Jesus delights to provide for the needs of the people, both those who call themselves His disciples and the masses who follow out of curiosity. How many of those people actually realized they were witnessing a miracle? I haven't been in too many crowds of 5,000, but I know that you can't see or hear everything that happens. The disciples certainly saw it, since they recorded the story more than once in Scripture.
How often do we (I) worry about how we'll meet budget, rather than trusting the One who provides for all our needs? But there is a caveat there-- our needs, not necessarily our wants. I remind myself frequently that budgets are just guidelines-- if less money comes in we may have to cut out some things that we want to do; but if God provides more money, we may be able to do more things. Jesus said that if we are faithful in small things, we'll be entrusted with more. So if finances are tight, does that mean we have not been as faithful as we should? Maybe, maybe not. Perhaps we need to evaluate our priorities and make sure the things we are doing are the best use of His resources. Or perhaps God is reminding us to trust Him and not ourselves. That is both the challenge and the blessing of working for a Christian organization. On one hand, the funds and the ministry belong to God, so it's up to Him to provide. On the other hand, we're accountable to a higher authority and our actions may have eternal consequences.
I know I don't have all the answers. I tend to waver between worry and trust. When I focus on the numbers I can get worried, but when I focus on God I know that He will provide. As I've quoted for several years, "When you focus on the problem you can't see the solution. Never focus on the problem, look at [M]e." (Patch Adams, though a less than godly context!).
