Have We Forgotten?

The movie The Lion King is an interesting allegory for life. As I’m sure you remember, Scar arranges for the death of Mufasa, and then convinces Simba that it is his fault and that he should run away rather than facing the penalty. We’ve been deceived by our own sin or the sins of others, and we run from God and hide because of shame and guilt (like Adam and Eve). We do our best to forget the past and move on with life. We may even be living the good life (like the prodigal son) at least for a time. But eventually God breaks through our defenses and finds us where we’re hiding (not that we can ever really hide from God).

One scene from the movie comes to my mind fairly often. Simba, out in the wilderness and far from home, has a vision of his father. King Mufasa says to him, “You have forgotten who you are and so have forgotten me.” How often does God say the same thing to us? We’re children of the King of kings, heirs of the kingdom, and yet we’re living in the wilderness like orphans. Forgetful wilderness living has several characteristics we could focus on. I’ll highlight just a few.

1) Lack of obedience. It was sin that caused Adam and Eve to hide from God in the garden, and sin begets sin. If you’re hiding from God out of fear, what is the likelihood that you’re seeking to do His will? How can you even seek His will if you don’t want to seek Him? The two go hand in hand. James writes, “For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like” (1:23-24). I suspect many churches are full of people who hear the Word regularly but are not inclined to seek the Lord. They may be doing the “basics” of the Christian life, but they don’t care to be in intimate relationship with the Father, perhaps out of fear of judgment, or fear that God will rock them out of their comfortable little boat.

2) Lack of growth. The Apostle Peter explains, “For whoever lacks these qualities [faith, virtue, knowledge, self-control, steadfastness, godliness, affection, love] is so nearsighted that he is blind, having forgotten that he was cleansed from his former sins” (2 Peter 1:5-9). Paul David Tripp writes, “They have lost sight of their identity in Christ, so they do not realize the resources that are theirs. Because of this, they fail to live with hope, faith, and courage” (Instruments in the Redeemer’s Hands, 262). Though we have a Father who forgives us readily (1 John 1:9), it’s easy to forget that we are forgiven. Memories of the past bring up the same feelings of guilt and shame, and we get stuck in the mire all over again. When that happens, the opportunities for growth are limited. It’s kind of like the student who gets so torn up by the test he failed that he doesn’t pay attention to the new material being taught. We can’t live in the past, but some of us certainly try to.

3) Lack of joy. When Adam and Eve were cast out of the garden, they lost the intimate communion they had with the Father. Work became toil. Life wasn’t the same joyful, carefree existence they’d had before. When the prodigal son left home, he may have had some fun times until the money ran out, but pretty soon he was yearning for what he’d left behind. Whether you’re consumed with shameful memories or yearning for the “good ol’ days” (or both), you aren’t enjoying the blessings that are available for today.

Having wandered through some wilderness experiences (hopefully not for 40 years like the Israelites), I’d share a few recommendations:

1) Remember who God is. As our Creator, Redeemer, and Father, He knows us better than we know ourselves, and He loves us anyway.

2) Remember who you are in Christ. We are forgiven, loved, chosen, adopted, heirs, and children of God. We can “approach the throne of grace with confidence” (Heb. 4:12) because of what Jesus did for us by dying on the cross.

3) Forget the past and move forward in obedience. As the writer of Hebrews put it, “Let us lay aside every weight and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus…” (Heb. 12:1-2). And in Paul’s words, “Forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 3:13-14). This kind of forgetfulness is the result of having the right focus. Only when we’re focused on God can the past fall away and stop tripping us up. Focusing on Christ also enables us to discern the truth and avoid future deception so that we may “be wise as to what is good and innocent as to what is evil” (Romans 16:19). As soon as we take our eyes off of Christ and focus on self or others we’re likely to veer off the right path.

It would be nice if once you became a Christian the road was straight and smooth, with guardrails to keep you going the right direction. But instead we go over mountains, through deserts, and maybe even under oceans. Some of the obstacles are of our own making when we wander off the road. Some are created by the enemy to divert our attention. But all are allowed by the Father as means to bring us to greater reliance on Him. Lord, let us fix our eyes on You today and every day!

Purposeful Living

I shared the following quote by Dominique Voillaume on Facebook recently, and I have continued to think about it:
“If God wants it to, my life will be useful through my word and witness. If He wants it to, my life will bear fruit through my prayers and sacrifices. But the usefulness of my life is His concern, not mine. It would be indecent of me to worry about that. 

But the fact is that I do worry about that more often than not. Perhaps it goes back to the subconscious assumption that I have to “earn my keep,” never mind the fact that God chose me to be part of His family before I ever did anything for Him. The truth is that He’s made me a member of His Body and has given me a specific function whether I feel like I’m useful or not. All too often I find myself wondering what my purpose is and if I’m being useful or even usable. So I took a look at what Scripture says about God’s purpose for us. Here are a few verses (italics added):

• Romans 8:28-29: “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose. For those whom He foreknew He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, in order that He might be the firstborn among many brothers.”
• Ephesians 1:5, 10-12: “He predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of His will, …as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in Him, things in heaven and things on earth. In Him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of Him who works all things according to the counsel of His will, so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of His glory.”
• Ephesians 3:10-11: “…so that through the church the manifold wisdom of God might now be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly places. This was according to the eternal purpose that He has realized in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
• 2 Timothy 1:9-11: “…who saved us and called us to a holy calling, not because of our works but because of His own purpose and grace, which he gave us in Christ Jesus before the ages began, and which now has been manifested through the appearing of our Savior Christ Jesus, who abolished death and brought life and immortality to light through the gospel, for which I was appointed a preacher and apostle and teacher.”

From these examples we can see several purposes God has given us as believers: 1) To become like Jesus, 2) To give Him praise and glory, 3) To bring others into unity with Him, 4) To share His wisdom with the world, and 5) To serve Him with the specific gifts and abilities we have been given. (All of these can be summarized into the top two commandments—love God and love people.)

I think we tend to jump to number five and overlook the first two. God calls us first and foremost into relationship with Him for our own salvation and growth into maturity in the likeness of Christ. God never said, “I’ll save Dawn because I know she is key to saving Sally, Susie and Sam.” It’s not a numbers game. He doesn’t need us to do anything for Him, though our work will be a result of the Spirit’s work in and through us. So the question I ask myself is how much time and attention do I give to my own spiritual growth? I know I go through cycles of apathy, interest, dedication, and frustration. I’ve read that pastors spend so much time preparing for what they are going to preach and teach others that they tend to neglect their own development (though we have to remember that we’re in this together and what benefits the Body can also benefit the pastor and vice versa). I need to continually seek those devotional aids and opportunities that will strengthen my faith, hope and love.

The second question that comes to mind is how much attention I give to opportunities to praise and worship God? As I’ve mentioned in previous blogs, worship is our response to what God has done, and is not necessarily dependent on set times and places. At the same time, I often need those established times to remind me to set aside all my busyness and remember who God is. If giving God praise and glory is one of my primary purposes in life, I need to look for opportunities both to thank God for what He has done and is doing and to share that with others.

I’ve recently gone through some steps in identifying my specific roles in the Body, though I still tend to question at times whether I’m fulfilling God’s purpose for me. So I have to go back to Voillaume’s quote and remind myself that God is the one who makes me both usable and useful. The question is whether I trust Him enough to let Him do His work and believe that “He is able to guard until that day what has been entrusted to me” (2 Timothy 1:12) and that “He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ” (Philippians 1:6). Some days that’s easier said than believed.

As Brennan Manning wrote in The Signature of Jesus, “If I ask myself, ‘What am I doing walking around this planet? Why do I exist?’ as a disciple of Jesus I must answer, ‘For the sake of Christ.’”

Fellow Ragamuffins

I’ll admit it—I hear voices. I have conversations in my head, sometimes with real people and sometimes imaginary. This week I was imagining sitting next to Brennan Manning on an airplane. That scenario is an impossibility since this messenger of Love passed away last month, which I just learned today. I was blessed to hear Brennan speak at Bethel College in 1993, and was moved by his description of a God who loves us unconditionally. In a few brief quotes from The Ragamuffin Gospel:

• “You may be insecure, inadequate, mistaken, or potbellied. Death, panic, depression, and disillusionment may be near you. But you are not just that. You are accepted. Never confuse your perception of yourself with the mystery that you really are accepted.” (25)
• “To believe deeply, as Jesus did, that God is present and at work in human life is to understand that I am a beloved child of this father and hence, free to trust… To trust Abba, both in prayer and life, is to stand in childlike openness before a mystery of gracious love and acceptance.” (74)
• “How difficult it is to be honest, to accept that I am unacceptable, to renounce self-justification, to give up the pretense that my prayers, spiritual insight, tithing, and successes in ministry have made me pleasing to God! No antecedent beauty enamors me in his eyes. I am lovable only because he loves me.” (83)
• “We should be astonished at the goodness of God, stunned that he should bother to call us by name, our mouths wide open at his love, bewildered that at this very moment we are standing on holy ground.” (102)

I could go on for pages with quotes. But to get back to my imaginary conversation with Brennan—after the introductions (“Hi, I’m Dawn. I’m a great sinner loved by a greater Savior.”), the question that comes to mind is, “How can we forget? How is it that we can encounter God and then forget about His grace?” I’m sure I’m not the only one and probably not even in the minority. Somehow we get sidetracked and forget that God loved us long before we did anything for Him. We start trying to earn the love that He has freely bestowed on us. As I was rereading The Ragamuffin Gospel today, I found Brennan’s response:

“At some point in each of our lives, we were deeply touched by a profound encounter with Jesus Christ… We were deeply moved for a few hours, days, or weeks, and eventually returned to the routine occupations of our daily existence… Slowly we got caught up in the demands of ministry or career and the distractions our busy world offers. We began to treat Jesus like the old friend from Brooklyn whom we dearly loved in years past but have gradually lost track of… It is possible we may never love anyone as much as we loved him, but even the memory has grown dim… Just as the failure to be attentive dissolves confidence and communion in a human relationship, so inattention to the Holy unravels the fabric of the divine relationship… We settle in and settle down to lives of comfortable piety and well-fed virtue. We grow complacent and lead practical lives. Our feeble attempts at prayer are filled with stilted phrases addressed to an impassive deity. Even times of worship become trivialized… The forgiveness of God is gratuitous liberation from guilt. Paradoxically, the conviction of personal sinfulness becomes the occasion of encounter with the merciful love of the redeeming God… In his brokenness, the repentant prodigal knew an intimacy with the father that his sinless, self-righteous brother would never know.” (185-188)

What I hear Brennan saying to me and to all of us is this—it doesn’t matter how you forgot, or how far away you wandered. What’s important is that when you do remember, you go running back to the arms of the Father. He has been watching and waiting for you, and He keeps sending you little reminders of His love until you do remember. We have this misguided belief that the Christian life is a constant upward spiral toward perfection, conveniently forgetting that even the disciples kept falling off the path even while they had God incarnate walking beside them! One thing I will often remember (when I’m not busy forgetting) is God’s voice speaking through Brennan saying, “I expect more failure from you than you expect from yourself.”

So in his own words, “On the last day when Jesus calls me by name, ‘Come, Brennan, blessed of my Father,’ it will not be because Abba is just, but because his name is mercy.” Lord, thank You for blessing us with a ragamuffin to remind us of Your amazing love and grace!

Worship Distractions

I think we’d all agree that there are things that can distract us from the experience of worship. Thinking specifically of Sunday mornings, we may get distracted by crying babies, technical difficulties, music styles, worries from the week past or the week to come, etc. When we speak of worship leaders, we are usually referring to the musical worship, and we may judge the music to be not “worshipful” enough or just not our style, and we label anyone who is “different.”

But something new occurred to me this week. Though we may say that the music “distracted me from worship,” have you ever had times when worship distracted you from the music? That’s what happened to me Sunday. As we opened the service with prayer, my prayer was “Fill my emptiness.” Then during the music the phrase “fill my life again” came up in one of the songs “coincidentally.” In that moment, I was aware of nothing but God’s filling presence and power. That phrase could have occurred in any of a hundred different songs or Scriptures, and the style of music had nothing to do with my worship. For at least a brief moment, worship distracted me from the music and everything else.

I wonder what it would take for us to realize that as the true definition of worship? Worship is not a programmed set of events or a specific time of the week. Worship is our response to God’s invitation to know Him, love Him, and experience His presence in our lives each and every day. Worship—focusing on God—should distract us from our problems, priorities, and preferences. If any of those things are distracting us from “worshiping,” our focus is on the wrong person (either ourselves or others).

It’s understandable that we get distracted. After all, we are fallen people living in a fallen world. And when we come together for corporate worship, it is good to try to minimize the distractions as much as we are able. But even the best of human actions can’t guarantee that we will become fully aware of God’s presence for that period of time. It’s not that God isn’t there (since we know He is everywhere), or that we are not pleasing to Him (because He loves us more than we know). The biggest problem is that we are trying to look through a glass that is clouded by doubt, fear, misconceptions, self-centeredness, and every other form of sin. Once in awhile God clears a little spot in the glass and we get a glimpse of His glory. It may happen in a worship service or in the beauty of nature, while listening to the radio in rush hour traffic or holding a newborn baby, while singing, praying, reading, serving, or simply being still.

My challenge for myself (and anyone who wants to join me) is to make every effort to focus my attention on the One who is worthy of all worship, and to let go of all that would distract me from Him. That may require some changes in priorities and practices. I need to spend more time in prayer and less time watching TV. I need to read more books that remind me of who God is and fewer books that are only vaguely entertaining. I need to stop judging those who are different from me and start seeking the One who calls us all His children. I need to prepare my heart and mind for worship by confessing my sin and remembering His love and forgiveness. And I need to pray for myself and others who are assembling for worship that we will be led to seek His face. (Another “coincidence”—as I finished writing this the radio in the office was playing Matt Redman’s “Heart of Worship. See: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-Zp586pvZg )

 

“Sing to the Lord, bless His name; tell of His salvation from day to day. Declare His glory among the nations, His marvelous works among all the peoples! For great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised, He is to be feared above all gods…Worship the Lord in the splendor of holiness; tremble before Him, all the earth!” (Psalm 96:2-4,9).

Whole-Hearted Love

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength” (Luke 10:27; Matthew 22:37). That can sound pretty vague and spiritualized. What if it said, “Love the Lord your God with all your career, family, recreation, finances, priorities, emails, thoughts....” If any of those are not God-centered, then we aren’t loving God with our whole hearts. That makes it more personal—and more difficult. I know when I’ve heard that verse quoted my tendency is to think, “Yeah, I love God as much as I can.” But then I go home from church and don’t think much about it until the next week. I guarantee I’ve made choices that are less than God-honoring and less than loving, probably every day whether I realize it or not. Just trying to focus on God’s priorities for one whole day can be exhausting, much less keeping it up 24/7. 

Then add on “Love your neighbor” (Matt. 22:38) and the self-deception thickens. “Yeah, I love people. I don’t get mad at the slow cashier or the bad driver. I’m kind to the foreign kid waiting tables. I mow my neighbor’s lawn occasionally.” But is that really love or just kindness, or perhaps just tolerance? Paul Miller said, “I honestly don’t know how to love someone if I’m not praying for them. How did I learn that? By trying to love people when I wasn’t praying for them. Mess after mess. Frustration on top of frustration” (interview in byFaith magazine). How many of our neighbors are we actually praying for on a regular basis? Even family members and close friends tend to slip on and off our prayer lists depending on their immediate needs. If we don’t care enough about someone to pray for them frequently, are we really loving them as God has commanded? Prayer is just one measure of our love for our neighbor.

The final part of Matthew 22:38 is, “Love… yourself.” It’s not enough to profess love for God and neighbor, but we’re to love ourselves too. I read an illustration recently where a man said, “I’ve always heard that verse as ‘Love your neighbor but hate yourself,’ and I’ve done very well to fulfill the second part.” I’ve heard some preaching over the years that might lean toward that interpretation, telling people to always put others first. While that sounds like a godly thing to do, for those with low self-esteem (and I include myself in that group) it can be interpreted to mean that your own needs don’t matter, you aren’t important, and perhaps that God loves others more than He loves you. When that is the case, we have to learn to accept what God says is true of us: we are loved with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3); we belong to the Beloved and His desire is for us (Song of Solomon 7:10); we are His adopted children (Ephesians 1:5); and so many other words of truth! If God so loves me, then I am free to love myself as well. Jesuit Bernard Bush writes, “We cannot assume that [God] feels about us the way we feel about ourselves, unless we love ourselves intensely and freely.”

Only when I know and accept who I am in Christ can I begin to love others with the love that I have received from my heavenly Father. That is true love. Without that foundation, all my acts of love are generated from my own strength and are motivated by the changing feelings of fondness and appreciation. Whole-hearted love comes from a heart overflowing with the love of God. “I pray… that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God” (Ephesians 3:17-19). When we allow God’s love to fill our lives, that love is reflected back to Him in our daily choices and it’s reflected in our interactions with others. Only because of His love at work in us can we fulfill the commands to love God, love others, and love ourselves. Anything else is a faint imitation at best. Love is part of the Fruit of the Spirit, which means it can only be grown by the Holy Spirit at work in us. There’s nothing we can do to make that fruit grow except to abide in the Vine (Christ)—believing and accepting what He says to be true and letting Him transform our hearts and lives one day at a time.

While I write this from personal experience, you can be sure that I have a long way to go in the growth process! Just because you know something is true doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ve worked it into your daily faith walk. “Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another… We love because He first loved us” (1 John 4:11,19).

Now What?

Have you ever had the thought, perhaps just subconsciously, that now that I’m a Christian the big change is over and it’s just a straight road from here? I’ve been realizing more and more that that’s not how it works. We’re a little bit like parents who think that once their child is out of the house the work is done and there won’t be any more worries, needs, etc. Or for the young adult who has graduated and gotten a job, they may feel like “That’s done. Now I can get on with life.” So we get settled down in our work, church, home, and family and we don’t anticipate any major changes. When it comes to spirituality, we may get complacent and feel like it doesn’t make a great deal of difference if we pray, read the Bible, or go to church. We know we “should,” so we go through the routine. 

I’m finding that God doesn’t just save us to leave us alone to live our lives. Ephesians 2:10 says, “We are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” Verse 22 continues, “In Him you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by the Spirit.” And chapter 4 goes on to tell us that these good works, this construction of God, is enabled by the spiritual gifts He has given each of us. So if we’ve got preordained works to do in order to build up the Body of Christ, why are so many of us content to sit back in the pew (or on the couch) relaxed and unconcerned about anything besides our own salvation? Why do we change the channel when the pictures of starving children in Africa come on? Are we afraid we might be compelled to do something about it? When someone asks for volunteers, why do we look away, afraid that if we make eye contact we’ll be drafted for something we don’t want to do?

I think there are several reasons for our complacency:

1) We are comfortable. Nobody likes to be uncomfortable, so we don’t want to do something new or risky. We don’t want to give up any of our abundance because that might make things uncomfortable down the road.

2) We are busy. We’ve got our own jobs and families to care for and worry about. We don’t want to or have time to take on anything else.

3) We don’t see the need. Whether it’s busyness or a lack of information, we don’t understand why someone else may need our help (financially, physically, emotionally, etc.). We all tend to be inward focused.

4) We don’t know what we can do. Even if we know there are people or groups in need in our neighborhood or around the world, we may not know how to help. We may feel inadequate for that particular need. We may be fearful of rejection. Or we may just need some guidance as to what to do and how to do it.

There are probably dozens of other reasons as well. As I’ve been doing some study on spiritual gifts lately, a few things have stood out in my mind. First, God has given the gifts that are needed for any particular time and place. He’s not going to leave us missing key pieces to accomplish His work. That leads to a couple questions—If we have a need (such as teachers), have we communicated the need to those who might have the gifts to contribute? And if we have asked for help and still have a need, are we sure we’re asking for the right thing or is there something we need to be doing differently?

Another thought is that the Body of Christ is the worldwide Church, not just our local congregation. So there are needs around the world that are being met in a variety of ways. There may be a church in Nigeria that can supply a need elsewhere in Africa. There may be a parachurch organization such as World Vision that can assist in places we’ve never even heard of. Many such organizations are worthy of our financial support. We aren’t all called to go overseas in our service for God. Denominational structures exist to help organize our efforts around the world, as well as in our own towns, conferences, and regions. What do we need to do to tap into the resources available to us, and what do we have to offer to those outside our congregation?

Third, I don’t think that most of us have a good understanding of spiritual gifts as opposed to learned abilities, interests, or talents. Even if you’ve gone through one or more “spiritual gift inventory” questionnaires, as I have, it’s still a pretty vague concept. Theologians seem to disagree on some of the key points as well. I had always been told that your spiritual gifts don’t change, but then I read Lloyd Ogilvie’s Enjoying God, in which he writes, “Often we speak of a person who has exercised one of the gifts consistently as one permanently gifted with that gift… This has two debilitating effects: it often keeps the person from being open to using other spiritual tools from the tool chest, and it can lead a person away from moment-by-moment dependence on the Holy Spirit… A further misapprehension is created by thinking of a particular calling in the church as a spiritual gift… A prophet has been called by God into an avenue of ministry. But this calling is not the same as a spiritual gift.” I have to say that just muddied the waters for me. I wish I had some answers, but for now I’m left with more questions.

Henry Blackaby writes in Experiencing God, “God will never give you an assignment that He will not, at the same time, enable you to complete. That is what a spiritual gift is—a supernatural empowering to accomplish the assignment God gives you. Don’t, however, focus on your talents, abilities, and interests in determining God’s will… When He is Lord, your response should be something like this: ‘Lord, I will do anything that Your kingdom requires of me. Wherever You want me to be, I’ll go. Whatever the circumstances, I’m willing to follow. If You want to meet a need through my life, I am Your servant; and I will do whatever is required.’” That seems to go along with Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me,” and John 15:5, “Apart from Me you can do nothing.” Whatever God has called you to do He will enable you to accomplish. So then the question becomes, are we listening and looking to see what God might be inviting us to do?

Max Lucado includes the following prayer in Outlive Your Life, and it’s a good place for us to start. “O Lord, I have been called to be part of a holy community. You did not call me in isolation but placed me in the body of Christ, along with every other believer in Jesus throughout the world in every age. Let us grow as a team, work as a team, worship as a team, weep, laugh, and live as a team. Grant me the wisdom and the strength to partner with you and with my brothers and sisters in Christ. For Jesus’ sake and in his name I pray, amen.”

Unexplainable

I’ve encountered a similar thought in four different forms in the past couple weeks. The first was a quote from Henry Blackaby in Experiencing God, “Often sharing what God is doing in your life may help someone else encounter God in a meaningful way.” The second was from the sermon on Romans 15:18, “For I will not venture to speak of anything except what Christ has accomplished through me,” and the question posed was “If we could put on our website only what God has done in and through us as a church or individuals, what would be on there?”

The third variation last night was from the video series Unexplainable by Don Cousins. He starts the series by asking, “What is happening in your life right now that is unexplainable except by the work of God?” And the fourth came today from a story in the book Enjoying God by Lloyd Ogilvie. He writes of a man who said, “I was one of those Christians who took great pride in my baptism by the Spirit. I loved to talk about the assurances and excitement I felt when the Spirit filled me. But I was living in the past…”

The question that arose in my mind from these four encounters was, “Am I (are we) just talking about what God has done in the past, or about what He is doing right now?” If we’re just rehearsing the past, why is that? Are we not aware of what God is doing now, or is He not doing anything we consider noteworthy? Are we hindering what He wants to do by not giving Him control? The series by Cousins shares a story of a man that I think most of us can identify with—he wanted to be in control of his life and be prepared for anything that might come. He had a good job, a healthy savings account, three kids, a house, and all the things that we strive for. But it was a ho-hum existence because he didn’t take any risks, and so there wasn’t any sign that God was doing something unexplainable in or through him.

Assuming that these four encounters aren’t just a coincidence, I thought I’d share a little about what God is doing in my life right now. I’d have to say I’ve been in the “safe but routine” boat for quite awhile, until God decided to rock the boat a bit. I don’t like uncertainty, surprises, or anything unusual. Having grown up moving from state to state every few years, I learned that the “safe” thing to do was to avoid relationships and just entertain myself. You can’t get hurt if you don’t let anyone get close, right? (Well, not exactly, because we always have some degree of relationships even if they are superficial. But that’s another story.) There are some other contributing factors that I won’t go into. After settling down here almost 16 years ago I’ve hardly even traveled except to visit family and a few necessary trips for work. No need to deal with airports, traffic, hotels, and all those uncertain situations, which are even more uncertain for a single woman traveling alone.

Then add on top of that a long history of depression and anxiety, and the “comfortable” boat gets pretty uncomfortable. Though I’ve been on medications of many varieties over the years, it became increasingly obvious that just treating the symptoms does not fix the real problem—isolation. I’ve written this a few times in my blog, mainly because I have to keep being reminded of the truth: God created us to live in community, not in isolation. From the beginning of creation we learn “It is not good for man to be alone.” This isn’t just talking about marriage, but about people in all of life. And when we deny God’s plan and try to be self-sufficient, it’s only a matter of time until darkness and depression come crashing down despite all our efforts to medicate it away. (That’s part of the reason for the rising epidemic of drug abuse and alcoholism.)

So things came to an apex (or perhaps nadir would be the better analogy) last fall. When the medical world continued to fail me I turned to counseling with my pastor. Though I’ve been in counseling before, the benefits were fairly short term. And as I’ve told a couple people, there’s a difference between a “professional” with all the degrees and expertise, and a discipler who walks alongside you with the love and grace of God (remember 1 Corinthians 13). And there’s a difference between someone who only knows what you tell them and someone who sees you in a variety of contexts. In case you haven’t found out yet, we have a pastor who is being gifted and used by God, and one who really means it when he says he loves us! (We love you too, Matt!)

To wrap this up, through godly counsel and encouragement, things are changing in my life. God has connected me with some good folks in our House 2 House Bible study; God has gotten me back in Sunday school; and God has involved me in some other events I would previously have avoided. God has also drawn me into closer relationship with Him through turning off the TV, reading some inspirational books, and listening to some good sermons and Bible studies. None of those are things I would naturally pursue on my own. And perhaps most amazing to me is that God gave me the faith to trust Him enough that I could stop taking some of my medications. I’m totally off the ones that I’d been prescribed last fall, and I’m down to ¼ of the prescribed dose of a medication I’ve been on since 1999. I would be off it completely except for the fact that I like to be able to sleep. Maybe someday I’ll be “drug free.” While I don’t recommend going against a doctor’s advice, it has worked out pretty well in this case. It hasn’t entirely been easy, but it is still worth it.

That’s the “unexplainable” that God has been up to in my life. How about you?