Unexplainable

I’ve encountered a similar thought in four different forms in the past couple weeks. The first was a quote from Henry Blackaby in Experiencing God, “Often sharing what God is doing in your life may help someone else encounter God in a meaningful way.” The second was from the sermon on Romans 15:18, “For I will not venture to speak of anything except what Christ has accomplished through me,” and the question posed was “If we could put on our website only what God has done in and through us as a church or individuals, what would be on there?”

The third variation last night was from the video series Unexplainable by Don Cousins. He starts the series by asking, “What is happening in your life right now that is unexplainable except by the work of God?” And the fourth came today from a story in the book Enjoying God by Lloyd Ogilvie. He writes of a man who said, “I was one of those Christians who took great pride in my baptism by the Spirit. I loved to talk about the assurances and excitement I felt when the Spirit filled me. But I was living in the past…”

The question that arose in my mind from these four encounters was, “Am I (are we) just talking about what God has done in the past, or about what He is doing right now?” If we’re just rehearsing the past, why is that? Are we not aware of what God is doing now, or is He not doing anything we consider noteworthy? Are we hindering what He wants to do by not giving Him control? The series by Cousins shares a story of a man that I think most of us can identify with—he wanted to be in control of his life and be prepared for anything that might come. He had a good job, a healthy savings account, three kids, a house, and all the things that we strive for. But it was a ho-hum existence because he didn’t take any risks, and so there wasn’t any sign that God was doing something unexplainable in or through him.

Assuming that these four encounters aren’t just a coincidence, I thought I’d share a little about what God is doing in my life right now. I’d have to say I’ve been in the “safe but routine” boat for quite awhile, until God decided to rock the boat a bit. I don’t like uncertainty, surprises, or anything unusual. Having grown up moving from state to state every few years, I learned that the “safe” thing to do was to avoid relationships and just entertain myself. You can’t get hurt if you don’t let anyone get close, right? (Well, not exactly, because we always have some degree of relationships even if they are superficial. But that’s another story.) There are some other contributing factors that I won’t go into. After settling down here almost 16 years ago I’ve hardly even traveled except to visit family and a few necessary trips for work. No need to deal with airports, traffic, hotels, and all those uncertain situations, which are even more uncertain for a single woman traveling alone.

Then add on top of that a long history of depression and anxiety, and the “comfortable” boat gets pretty uncomfortable. Though I’ve been on medications of many varieties over the years, it became increasingly obvious that just treating the symptoms does not fix the real problem—isolation. I’ve written this a few times in my blog, mainly because I have to keep being reminded of the truth: God created us to live in community, not in isolation. From the beginning of creation we learn “It is not good for man to be alone.” This isn’t just talking about marriage, but about people in all of life. And when we deny God’s plan and try to be self-sufficient, it’s only a matter of time until darkness and depression come crashing down despite all our efforts to medicate it away. (That’s part of the reason for the rising epidemic of drug abuse and alcoholism.)

So things came to an apex (or perhaps nadir would be the better analogy) last fall. When the medical world continued to fail me I turned to counseling with my pastor. Though I’ve been in counseling before, the benefits were fairly short term. And as I’ve told a couple people, there’s a difference between a “professional” with all the degrees and expertise, and a discipler who walks alongside you with the love and grace of God (remember 1 Corinthians 13). And there’s a difference between someone who only knows what you tell them and someone who sees you in a variety of contexts. In case you haven’t found out yet, we have a pastor who is being gifted and used by God, and one who really means it when he says he loves us! (We love you too, Matt!)

To wrap this up, through godly counsel and encouragement, things are changing in my life. God has connected me with some good folks in our House 2 House Bible study; God has gotten me back in Sunday school; and God has involved me in some other events I would previously have avoided. God has also drawn me into closer relationship with Him through turning off the TV, reading some inspirational books, and listening to some good sermons and Bible studies. None of those are things I would naturally pursue on my own. And perhaps most amazing to me is that God gave me the faith to trust Him enough that I could stop taking some of my medications. I’m totally off the ones that I’d been prescribed last fall, and I’m down to ¼ of the prescribed dose of a medication I’ve been on since 1999. I would be off it completely except for the fact that I like to be able to sleep. Maybe someday I’ll be “drug free.” While I don’t recommend going against a doctor’s advice, it has worked out pretty well in this case. It hasn’t entirely been easy, but it is still worth it.

That’s the “unexplainable” that God has been up to in my life. How about you?