Right Empathy

If you spend much time in the Christian blogosphere, you probably have seen some reference to the “sin of empathy.” There have been a number of books and podcasts on the subject. The main issue seems to be the variety of conflicting definitions of what empathy actually is. Ed Welch stated, “Empathy is the ability to step into someone’s world in a way that the person feels understood. It is not approval of that world, but it is an understanding of it.”

Rather than wading into the debates, I want to focus on what Scripture says, and there is no better place to start than the two greatest commandments as declared by Jesus:

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets” (Matt. 22:37-40).

Whatever we do or say is to be rooted in God’s love for us, and should reflect the example of Jesus Christ as He chose to live among sinful humanity. “The Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen His glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth” (John 1:14). He came to live in the flesh and experienced the worst of mankind, yet He was described as being full of both grace and truth. His love was revealed in His choice to die for us while we were still sinners (Rom. 5:8). And now He intercedes for us as one who has been where we are. “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin” (Heb. 4:15).

While He ministered here on earth, He had compassion for those who were sick and hurting, but He was not afraid to call out sin and urge people to repent and change. After He healed the man at the pool of Bethesda, He told him, “See, you are well! Sin no more, than nothing worse may happen to you” (John 5:14, see also 8:11). When the rich young man came up to Him, Jesus looked at him with love and told him to go sell all that he had and then follow Him. This was not a challenge the man would accept (Mark 10:21-22). For Jesus, loving others meant helping them to see their true needs rather than leaving them in whatever sin or lifestyle they found comfortable.

So too are we to love others by exercising both grace and truth. “Love is patient and kind… it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” (1 Cor. 13:4-7). We are not meant to bury the truth of God’s Word in an effort to make others feel more accepted. “Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into Him who is the head, into Christ… Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another” (Eph. 4:15, 25).

False empathy says, “I understand why you feel the way you do, and so I support you in whatever choices you make.” But true empathy says, “I understand where you’re coming from, but I love you too much to let you stay on a path that leads to eternal destruction.” It is far easier to affirm others than to correct or confront sin. There are different factors in every relationship, and we won’t always get it right. We all need great wisdom in relating to those we love, and who better to ask than the One who became flesh and exemplified perfect grace and perfect truth?

“My brothers, if anyone among you wanders from the truth and someone brings him back, let him know that whoever brings back a sinner from his wandering will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins” (James 5:19-20).

© 2025 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Handle With Care

“Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth” (2 Timothy 2:15 ESV). This verse came to mind recently, it occurred to me that I’ve noticed a correlation between those who handle Scripture with care and those who can be trusted to treat people with care. It’s not a one to one correlation, and certainly there are caring people who have little or no knowledge of Scripture, but the general principle seems to apply.

As I think about it, there are two main factors—a love for God and a love for His Word—and those two seem to overflow in a love for others. Those who truly love God are likely to carefully study the entirety of the Bible, not picking and choosing the parts they like and discarding the rest. Love of the Word reinforces love for God. And because we have received the love of God as revealed in the Word, we can love one another fully and freely. The Apostle John was pretty adamant in his letters:

“Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love… We love because He first loved us” (1 John 4:7-8, 19).

I’ve seen it demonstrated in my pastor and in others I know well that God’s love overflows the most through those who handle the Word with care. I’ve also seen that Christians who take shortcuts with Scripture or are negligent with it tend to be less trustworthy and more careless in their relationships with people. On the extreme end are those who misuse Scripture to justify hateful and derogatory behavior toward those they disagree with, persecuting people in the name of Christ.

Personally, I want to hang around people who are compassionate and trustworthy, who will encourage me (1 Thessalonians 5:11), but who are willing to correct me in accordance with Scripture (2 Timothy 4:2), truly speaking the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). And that’s the kind of person I want to become as well.

The Apostle Paul pulls all these elements together in Colossians 3:12-17:

“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one Body. And be thankful. Let the Word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.”

Since love is part of the Fruit of the Spirit, it seems likely that love will grow in proportion with God’s work in our lives. And God works most clearly in those who are seeking Him in His Word. So if we want to be known as those who love one another well, we should start by searching the Scriptures in order to better know the God who is Love.

“Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” –Matthew 6:33