If you spend much time in the Christian blogosphere, you
probably have seen some reference to the “sin of empathy.” There have been a
number of books and podcasts on the subject. The main issue seems to be the
variety of conflicting definitions of what empathy actually is. Ed Welch stated, “Empathy
is the ability to step into someone’s world in a way that the person feels
understood. It is not approval of that world, but it is an understanding of it.”
Rather than wading into the debates, I want to focus on what
Scripture says, and there is no better place to start than the two greatest
commandments as declared by Jesus:
“You shall love the Lord your God
with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the
great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your
neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the
Prophets” (Matt. 22:37-40).
Whatever we do or say is to be rooted in God’s love for us,
and should reflect the example of Jesus Christ as He chose to live among sinful
humanity. “The Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen His
glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth” (John
1:14). He came to live in the flesh and experienced the worst of mankind, yet
He was described as being full of both grace and truth. His love was
revealed in His choice to die for us while we were still sinners (Rom. 5:8).
And now He intercedes for us as one who has been where we are. “For we do not
have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who
in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin” (Heb. 4:15).
While He ministered here on earth, He had compassion for
those who were sick and hurting, but He was not afraid to call out sin and urge
people to repent and change. After He healed the man at the pool of Bethesda,
He told him, “See, you are well! Sin no more, than nothing worse may happen to
you” (John 5:14, see also 8:11). When the rich young man came up to Him, Jesus
looked at him with love and told him to go sell all that he had and then follow
Him. This was not a challenge the man would accept (Mark 10:21-22). For Jesus,
loving others meant helping them to see their true needs rather than leaving
them in whatever sin or lifestyle they found comfortable.
So too are we to love others by exercising both grace and
truth. “Love is patient and kind… it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but
rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all
things, endures all things” (1 Cor. 13:4-7). We are not meant to bury the truth
of God’s Word in an effort to make others feel more accepted. “Rather, speaking
the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into Him who is the head,
into Christ… Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak
the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another” (Eph. 4:15, 25).
False empathy says, “I understand why you feel the way you
do, and so I support you in whatever choices you make.” But true empathy says,
“I understand where you’re coming from, but I love you too much to let you stay
on a path that leads to eternal destruction.” It is far easier to affirm others
than to correct or confront sin. There are different factors in every
relationship, and we won’t always get it right. We all need great wisdom in
relating to those we love, and who better to ask than the One who became flesh
and exemplified perfect grace and perfect truth?
“My brothers, if anyone among you wanders from the truth
and someone brings him back, let him know that whoever brings back a sinner
from his wandering will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of
sins” (James 5:19-20).
© 2025 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.
