Her heart was pounding as she looked
at the crowd in front of her. What she was about to do was by far the
most terrifying thing she’d ever done. Harder than twelve years of
calling out “Unclean!” as people walked by. Harder than twelve
years of explaining her problem to doctors just to have them shake
their head instead of providing a cure. Harder than twelve years of
being banned from the Temple and isolated from her family. Her shame
was a heavy burden, but her desperation was greater. She hid her face
and slipped into the crowd, hoping that no one would recognize her
and point her out. “If I can just touch the Healer’s garment...”
Desperation drove her forward when fear tried to hold her back. Her
hand slipped between two men and brushed the fringe of His cloak. She
knew immediately it had worked and she quickly started to move away,
but the Healer had noticed. He stopped and looked around, asking who
had touched Him. His eyes met hers and she fell at His feet as the
shame of twelve years crushed her to the ground. She started babbling
an explanation, but she wasn’t even sure if the words were coming
out. All she could hear was the pounding of her heart. “Daughter...”
What did He say? “My daughter, lift up your head. Look at
Me.” He reached down and grasped her hands, the first person to
touch her in twelve years. As He drew her to her feet, she looked
into His eyes and saw no condemnation, only love. Twelve years of
shame and fear, pain and weakness, all fell away in that moment.
“Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace and be healed
of your disease.”
The faith of this unnamed woman not
only brought her healing, it also got her mentioned in three of the
gospels. A woman who had been unclean and unseen caught the attention
of the whole crowd. It must have been a memorable experience if
Matthew, Mark and Luke all felt the need to share her story. Of all
the names Jesus could have called her, He chose to call her Daughter,
the same name used of Jairus’s child whose healing she was
interrupting. This woman was no less important than the daughter of a
synagogue ruler. Both of them received new life that day.
Although none of us really
understand what it would be like to be unclean and outcast under the
Jewish law, we all can think of moments of shame when all we wanted
to do was disappear. Jesus could have let the woman be healed quietly
and covertly and no one else needed to know what had just happened.
He called her out, not just to reveal that she was physically healed,
but to bring wholeness out of her brokenness, grace out of her shame,
and strength out of her weakness. Her moment of deepest shame became
a moment of splendor. God’s glory was revealed in a life that was
not just healed but transformed.
God wants to do that for each of us.
When we would settle for relief from pain and disease, He has a much
greater plan of redemption. When we would like to simply enjoy a
measure of healing, He wants to use our stories for His glory. He can
take all our shame and weakness and brokenness and bring comfort,
encouragement, and faith to many others, but only if we are willing
to be seen. He can redeem our shame for His splendor. All we have to
do is take those fearful, trembling steps forward to fall at His
feet.
As much as I want to be used by God,
I confess that shame is a powerful demotivator. It seems far easier
to stay hidden and hurting than to take those little steps of faith
toward wholeness. It seems easier to find ways to cope with the
hardships of life than to let God uncover them for all the world to
see and to judge. But His grace is greater than all our sin, shame,
and suffering. Do I believe that today? Do you? Will we choose to be
trust the One who knows all our secrets and risk being seen?
“Oh, guard my soul, and deliver
me! Let me not be put to shame, for I take refuge in You” (Psalm
25:20 ESV).
© 2016 Dawn
Rutan.
