Free to Be Loved

One of the old books I found on my bookshelves is Unconditional Love, by John Powell. He describes his “life principle” of unconditional love and what that would look like in reality (pages 70-73). As I read his comments, I began to hear much of it as God’s words to me. He writes:

“My decision is to love you and my commitment is to your true and lasting happiness. I am dedicated to your growth and fulfillment as a person... The gift of my love means this: I want to share with you whatever I have that is good. You did not win a contest or prove yourself worthy of this gift. It is not a question of deserving my love... The point is that I have chosen to give you my gift of love and you have chosen to love me...

“You can be whoever you are, express all your thoughts and feelings with absolute confidence. You do not have to be fearful that love will be taken away. You will not be punished for your openness or honesty. There is no admission price to my love, no rental fees, or installment payments to be made... I will not go back on my word to you. So feel free to be yourself, to tell me of your negative and positive reactions, of your warm and cold feelings... I will not reject you! I am committed to your growth and happiness. I will always love you.”

At times I have thought that perhaps God gets tired of hearing the same things from me over and over, just as I fear that people don’t want to hear the same old story. But as Powell points out, unconditional love accepts complete honesty. If we are holding back some part of ourselves out of fear, then we can never know that love “bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” (1 Corinthians 13:7). If it is true that “perfect love casts out fear” (1 John 4:18), then we must not believe that we are truly loved if we are still living in fear. That’s true both in relationship with God and with others.

I suppose we’ve all read books or seen programs in which someone is keeping a secret from the person they love the most (such as this week’s episode of Downton Abbey). We’d like to step in and advise them to tell the truth. But we do the same things ourselves. It seems kinder, safer, or more loving to keep a painful secret when perhaps we would be better off being honest with those who do love us. I’m certainly not one to advise on that subject. In any case, God can handle the truth. He already knows our thoughts, so why should we try to hide them from Him? Nothing we can say or do will turn Him away from us.

The other point the Powell makes in the above quote is that unconditional love is committed to the good of the other person. God is committed to the growth and fulfillment of His children, and He wants to give us good things. But sometimes growth comes through hard times. We can’t understand the depths of God’s love if life is always easy and we never have to wrestle with trusting Him. Sometimes we’re like little children testing the boundaries of their parents’ love and patience. But unlike fallible humans, God’s love has no limits. He welcomes the prodigal, the wounded, the abused, the weak, and the doubting. And only God has the power to make “all things work together for good for those who are called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28).

In the words of Annie Johnson Flint (public domain):

He giveth more grace as our burdens grow greater,
He sendeth more strength as our labors increase;
To added afflictions He addeth His mercy,
To multiplied trials He multiples peace.

Chorus:
His love has no limits, He grace has no measure,
His power has no boundary known unto men;
For out of His infinite riches in Jesus
He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again.

When we have exhausted our store of endurance,
When our strength has failed ere the day is half done,
When we reach the end of our hoarded resources
Our Father’s full giving is only begun.

Fear not that thy need shall exceed His provision,
Our God ever yearns His resources to share;
Lean hard on the arm everlasting, availing;
The Father both thee and thy load will upbear.