- What is my motivation for my actions?
(Doing a good job or not making mistakes?)
- Who am I trying to impress? (God? Others?)
- Whose standards am I trying to meet?
(Employer? Self? God?)
- When I do make mistakes, what is my
reaction? (Embarrassment/shame? Condemnation?)
We all
fall into the trap of trying to protect our reputation because of our pride.
When you find something you’re good at, it’s natural to want to do your best.
And we all like to be praised for doing something well. But sometimes our
motivation gets twisted into seeking man’s approval instead of seeking to
glorify God (Colossians 3:23).
I can
say that this is a major problem for me. First, I put unnecessary expectations
on myself. If a report is due the 31st, I want to have it done by
the 15th. And if I can complete it by the 15th, then why
not the 10th? My original logic was good—if I get something done
early then I have time to recheck it before it is due. But after awhile there
is no rechecking, it’s just “get it done and get it out.” Second, I pressure
myself to get something done so fast that I start making unnecessary errors.
And third, errors make me angry because “I should know better.” It becomes a
vicious cycle of stress and frustration.
So what
is the solution? I think the first step is to start asking the above questions in
regards to a particular task. I can look at the actual deadlines and not try to
move them up. Assuming I’m not procrastinating, I’ll probably still get things
done ahead of time, but I don’t have to rush to meet some self-imposed
deadline. Chances are good that no one will notice if a report goes out a week
later than it used to. Even if they do, are they the ones who determine my
responsibilities or my value?
The
second step is to remember that I’m human and mistakes come with the territory.
Football player Benjamin Watson was told by his father, “When our
worth is tied up in our perfection, we are not only fighting an impossible
battle, we are turning our back on God’s grace. There’s no freedom in that” (as
quoted Guideposts Sept. 2013). We all
make mistakes, but that doesn’t change our value in God’s sight, and it shouldn’t
change our sense of self-worth either. That’s what God’s grace is for, and we
should give ourselves some grace as well. When I inadvertently put the wrong
number on a state sales tax form, I was relieved to learn that we could request
a penalty waiver due to our “good compliance record” (no mistakes in 3 years).
If the state can give a little grace, why can’t I?
The third step is to learn from mistakes, not beat myself
up over them. I used to joke about my predecessor who did the same task three
different ways to make sure he came up with the same numbers. I haven’t gone
that far (which I think could become obsessive), but I do find ways to build “self-checks”
into my procedures. I can either dwell on the past or I can move forward.
Philippians 3 is a great picture of pride that becomes
rubbish. Paul had every reason for pride as a “perfect” Jew. But then Jesus got
hold of him and all that went out the window as he realized the “surpassing
worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord” (v. 8). Then the only perfection he
sought was “that which comes through faith in Christ” (v. 9). Only then could
he say, “One thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to
what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of
God in Christ Jesus” (vv. 13-14).
May that be the only prize that I seek and my only
motivation for work, not for power, prestige, or the praise of men!
