This week I read a couple articles that got me thinking
about how we perceive ourselves and others. From the minute we’re born (or even
before), we are compared to a standard and ranked according to percentiles in
height, weight, and who knows what else. Will he be tall like his dad, or short
like mom?
Starting preschool or school brings more comparisons, and
not just in terms of achievements and tests. Little kids observe one another to
find out what they have in common. Does she like to play with horses or read
books? Commonalities serve as a basis for friendship, but they also create
segregation. Where there is a lack of connection, a child, adolescent, or adult
will often jump to one of two conclusions: there’s something wrong with me, or
there’s something wrong with you.
I thought about some of the percentiles I fall into— 2%
here, 10% there, 60% in that area. Some of those are good, some not so good.
Some I would change if I could. It’s easy to look around and envy those who are
different, or to feel like an anomaly because I am in the minority in many
categories. But God called me to this life, not to that one. He allowed every
gene, every circumstance, every heartache, and every opportunity that made me
who I am today. But I don’t get a reprieve from the Great Commission just
because I’m an introvert. I also don’t get to overlook people just because they
aren’t like me.
Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians, “Only let each person lead the
life that the Lord has assigned to him and to which God has called him” (7:17
ESV). “But take care that this right of yours does not somehow become a
stumbling block to the weak” (8:9). It is comfortable to hang around with
people who are just like us, but it can also be detrimental to the Body of
Christ. If we focus on external similarities, we may miss the opportunity to
find that we are brothers and sisters at heart. The unity that comes from
Christ should far outweigh any unity that comes from biology or experience.
Our culture makes it hard to really know people. We are
constantly told that we need to act a certain way, wear the right clothes, and
never let anyone see our weaknesses. That gives us the appearance of external
uniformity, but prevents the true unity that grows out of humility and authenticity.
The church is not immune to this type of hypocrisy. Most people dress up for
church (to varying degrees), act differently, and maybe clean up their language
around church people. It can be a challenge to let others see behind the façade,
or to remember that others may not be what they seem either. I am often reminded
that authentic community is started by the example of one person taking a risk.
Depth of relationships can’t come about any other way.
Take a risk; I dare you!
“When they measure
themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are
without understanding” (2 Corinthians 10:12b).
© 2016 Dawn Rutan.
