Looking for Fruit

I haven’t had much time or inclination for writing this week. I’ve been wrestling with the fleshly opposites of the Fruit of the Spirit, and joy, peace, patience, and self-control have been lacking. My frequent prayer has been, “Lord, do it for me because I can’t do it for myself!” And as I was reminded in chapel Wednesday (thanks to Travis Hutcheson), only Jesus can do the cleansing of the temple that we need to make His glory shine through us. (See 2 Chronicles 7:1-3, Mark 11:15-17, and 1 Corinthians 6:19-20.)

In the midst of these challenges, I’ve been reading some books by John Piper. In A Godward Heart, he writes:

“The death of Jesus for sin was planned before the foundation of the world. We know this because the book of Revelation refers to names written ‘before the foundation of the world in the book of life of the Lamb who was slain’ (Revelation 13:8), and because Paul tells us that God saved us by ‘grace, which he gave us in Christ Jesus before the ages began’ (2 Timothy 1:9). Therefore, since Christ was slain for sin, and since grace is God’s response to sin, we know that sin was part of the plan from the beginning... What is at stake in the sovereignty of God over sin is the ultimate aim of the universe, namely, the exaltation of the Son of God in the greatest act of wrath-removing, sin-forgiving, justice-vindication grace that ever was or ever could be...” (10-12).

I realize that many Christians don’t hold such a broad view of the sovereignty and foreknowledge of God, but I’m becoming more convinced of it day by day. And the more I believe in God’s foreknowledge of how sinful I would be, the more amazing His grace becomes. He had no reason to love or forgive any one of us, and yet He did. And His grace not only forgives our sin, but it changes us as well. Elyse Fitzpatrick writes in Overcoming Fear, Worry and Anxiety,

“Grace inclines our hearts to live lives that are sober and moderate... His grace bends our hearts toward righteousness. Whereas we once relished the thought of coddling our pet sin, we are now learning, by His grace, to hate it and to love righteousness... So you see, a true measure of God’s grace in one’s life isn’t careless living, rather, it’s a life bent toward holiness. And a correct understanding of His grace realizes that we’ll never be perfectly holy while here on earth” (186-187).

I take away several lessons from my reading and experiences of late. 1) God knows my sin and weakness and loves me anyway. 2) He is working to change me and grow His fruit in me. 3) He will work in His own time and way. That last point is both reassuring and frustrating. He will accomplish His purposes, but not on my schedule. I want to see the Fruit of the Spirit just bursting forth in my life, the way the flowers practically pop into bloom each spring. But then again, the flowers bloom and fade in a very short time. We have a lifetime to be refined and God is going to use every minute of it.

Another book I just finished is Healing Is a Choice, by Stephen Arterburn. He states, “God is with you and wants to grow your character. The quick fix or instant solution does not do that. Character is never instant, and God often uses our circumstances to build it within us... All of your sorrow and struggle and pain will be used for your good and His glory. He will not waste a thing” (201, 211). God can even use our sin shape us the way He wants us to be. If nothing else, it is a reminder of how much we need His grace to forgive us and change us.

“It is when we are conscious that we are feeble, and when we feel our need of aid, that the redeemer manifests His power to uphold, and imparts His purest consolations.” –Albert Barnes

“But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me was not in vain. On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me” (1 Corinthians 15:10 ESV).

The Big Picture

A few days ago I read Psalm 105, which talks about God’s wonderful works in choosing Abraham and giving him a land, sending Joseph ahead to Egypt to provide food for the Israelites during the famine, and then eventually redeeming the Israelites from Egypt through the work of Moses. And those are indeed marvelous works that we should remember in each successive generation.

In thinking particularly of Moses, I remembered someone who was important to the story, but we don’t even know his name. In Exodus chapter 2:11-12 we read:

“One day, when Moses had grown up, he went out to his people and looked on their burdens, and he saw an Egyptian beating a Hebrew, one of his people. He looked this way and that, and seeing no one, he struck down the Egyptian and hid him in the sand” (ESV).

And then the word gets out and Moses runs for his life, straight to the wilderness where he would live and learn for roughly the next 40 years. God had him where He wanted him. But did you catch what it took to get him there? Seeing one of his countrymen being beaten. Have you ever wondered what happened to that Hebrew? It doesn’t say that he died from his wounds, but we also don’t know if he lived to see Moses return and free the people from slavery. For all he could tell, his suffering was entirely in vain. But God used that man’s suffering to set up the sequence of events needed to get Moses in place.

Consider also the Hebrew women who lost their sons in order that Moses would be set adrift in a basket and found by the princess so he could be educated in the palace. Their suffering also seemed senseless at the time. And it is unlikely that many of them ever realized that their suffering provided a way for their future redemption from slavery, assuming they even lived long enough for Moses to reach adulthood.

There were a lot of individuals who suffered terribly while waiting for God’s plan to be fulfilled. And that still seems to be the case today. As we were reminded in Sunday’s sermon on Mark 1:29-34, Jesus came along and attracted a crowd, and He healed “many” of the sick and delivered “many” from demons. Something similar happened in John 5 at the pool of Bethesda. A multitude of invalids were there, but Jesus is only reported to have healed one. If you were one of the ones healed, I’m sure you’d be thrilled and would tell everyone what Jesus of Nazareth had done for you. But what if you weren’t healed? What if you had to be carried back home to the bed you’d occupied for the last thirty years? You might not be so enthralled with the God who allows suffering to continue.

It sounds cliché, but it really comes down to a question of faith—do you believe that God’s ways are higher than our ways, and He has plans that we can’t begin to conceive (see Isaiah 55:8-9)? The Bible is full of people who couldn’t understand why they went through often horrific circumstances. But through it all, God weaves the thread of His plan of redemption for mankind. He sets up rulers and tears down kingdoms; He controls the weather and the people; He knows our thoughts before we even speak them. If we call Him God, we have to believe that He is truly the Master of all things, including whatever difficult circumstances we may be facing right now. And if He is in control, then we have to trust that He will change our circumstances if and when He sees fit, and not a minute earlier.

That’s a concept I wrestle with on a regular basis. Several questions confront me frequently, and perhaps they are ones we all need to tackle at different times:

• Do I believe God is in control of all things, not just the big things?
• Do I believe that He can change things?
• Do I trust that He has heard my cries, and that He knows the desires of my heart?
• Am I content to wait on His timing, or am I trying to take things into my own hands?
• And if it is not His will for things to change the way I want, am I content to keep pressing on and trusting Him?
• Can I keep trusting that He is using all things for His good purposes, even when they don’t make sense to me?

“Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen” (Ephesians 3:20-21 NIV).

Learning to Count

Recently I read the following verses: “So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom... Make us glad for as many days as You have afflicted us, and for as many years as we have seen evil” (Psalm 90:12, 15 ESV). That led me to consider how we learn to number our days. I’m sure we’ve all said, “Time flies when you’re having fun,” and we know how time seems to drag when things aren’t going well due to pain, stress, or other difficulties. Is it possible that we learn to number our days when time is slowed down by suffering? That makes sense when you consider verse 15. Moses, the author of this psalm, certainly understood times of difficulty. I’m sure that 40 years spent wandering in the wilderness didn’t pass in the blink of an eye. He may as well have kept 40 yearly calendars and marked off the days one by one.

John Piper writes, “The psalmist said in Psalm 119:71, ‘It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I might learn Thy statutes.’ He does not say it was easy or fun or pleasant. In retrospect he simply says, ‘It was good for me.’ I was reading a book by a Scottish minister last week. This James Stewart said, ‘In love’s service, only the wounded soldiers can serve.’ That’s why I believe some of you are being prepared for some precious service of love right now. Because you are being wounded. Do not think that your wound has come to you apart from God’s gracious design. Remember His word: ‘See now that I, even I, am He, and there is no god besides Me... I wound and I heal...’ (Deuteronomy 32:39).” (http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/only-wounded-soldiers-can-serve)

Some lessons can be learned through a life of ease, but far more come through challenges and difficulties, or “opportunities” as one friend insists on calling them. Even in simple situations, it usually takes some difficulty before change looks preferable to the status quo. When computers or cars malfunction, we’re more likely to consider investing in something new than we are if everything is running smoothly. And when life trips us up, we start investigating what we might need to learn or do differently to restore a sense of order.

I’m not sure this is entirely good news. Learning to number our days seems to come most clearly from abiding through suffering. But it does lead to a “heart of wisdom,” which is something I think we’d all like to acquire. Affliction helps us to learn God’s statutes, trust Him more fully, depend on Him more dearly, communicate with Him more frequently, and love Him more openly.

Sometimes suffering comes from our own mistakes, and hopefully we do learn wisdom from those mistakes! But wisdom can come through many forms of suffering. It may be the young man who survives a bad car accident and now treasures his life and his family more than ever. It may be the father who suddenly loses his job and now has to determine what “luxuries” his family can do without. It can come through losing a loved one and being faced with the reality that eternal life is found only in Christ.

There are endless scenarios that lead to wisdom, but rarely does it come out of the clear blue sky. Even the wise King Solomon faced his share of struggles, questions, and mistakes. Although it’s definitely a good idea to pray for wisdom and seek wisdom as Proverbs tells us, it’s also a bit frightening to consider what it may take for that wisdom to develop. As many have said, if you pray for patience, you will face situations that try your patience. And if you pray for wisdom, you may face some situations that put you at the end of your rope. But when we come to the end of ourselves, then God has room to step in and do what He wants.

So pray for wisdom, but be careful what you ask for!

Misfits Fit to Serve

It seems to be a trend lately that the Sunday sermons correlate quite nicely with something I’m reading. After hearing “Jesus Calls Ordinary People,” I read the following from J.I. Packer in Never Beyond Hope:

“God, we realize, can get on very well without any of us. So it should give us an overwhelming sense of privilege that not only has he made us, loved and saved us but also he takes us as his working partners for advancing his plans. Thus Paul can call his colleagues and himself ‘Christ’s ambassadors’ and ‘God’s fellow workers’ (2 Cor. 3:20; 6:1), and tell us all to see ourselves in our own sphere as servants, ministers and workmen of God... And none of us is excluded, for Scripture shows God using the oddest, rawest, most lopsided and flawed of his children to further his work, at the same time as he carries on his sanctifying strategy for getting them into better moral and spiritual shape. This is a fact of enormous encouragement to sensitive souls who feel they are not fit to serve him” (18).

It does make you wonder why! When God is all-powerful, why does He enlist the help of failures and bumblers, the naïve and idiotic, self-centered and sinful people He created? I just happened to think of the Island of Misfit toys in the TV story of Rudolph. We’re all a bunch of misfits and nitwits, but for some reason God calls us to follow Him and to join Him in the work He is doing. Perhaps the deeper question is this—knowing that we would all be so flawed, why did He create us to begin with? Elyse Fitzpatrick comments,

“There, in time, before time began, the Trinity existed in perfect happiness within his person. He was not lonely; he never needed anything... But then, in overflowing love, grace, and mercy, God chose to make a covenant within himself... In love God made mankind, knowing what it would cost him, knowing all about Bethlehem and Calvary and all our sins before they even existed” (Found in Him, 30-31).

He created us in love. He redeemed us in love. He called us in love. And He gives us the ministry of loving one another. “He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before Him. In love He predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of His will... as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in Him, things in heaven and things on earth” (Ephesians 1:4-5,10 ESV). So God’s grand plan, cooked up before time began, was that He would create people who would one day be united with Him in love, even though it takes a rather convoluted path to get us there.

J.I. Packer is right that this should be an encouraging truth for us. It should also be astounding, humbling, empowering, and perhaps even a little frightening to realize that the Creator of the universe created us, loved us, and then called us to follow Him. It’s a distinct privilege, but it’s also an enormous responsibility—one that we would have no hope of fulfilling if it weren’t for the power of God made available to us and through us. On our own we could never please God, but because He has called us, He has also made possible the work He calls us to do. (See Hebrews 13:21.)

I like the prayer with which Packer closes his chapter on Samson (35):

“Holy Father, you know us, you have loved us and redeemed us through the blood-shedding of your Son, and exalted us to the glorious dignity of being your children and heirs. Keep us mindful of our privileged identity, and teach us to live lives that are Christlike in their maturity of faith and hope, their consistency in aiming to please you, and their humility in looking to you for the help we need at all times. Make us honest in recognizing our weaknesses of character and conduct, and in repenting of our sins. Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil. So may we follow your servant Samson in contending for the welfare of your people, and by your grace go beyond him in self-denial and purity of heart and life. Through Jesus Christ, our Savior and our Lord. Amen.”

Safe with the Shepherd

I’ve been thinking about Psalm 23 since the sermon Sunday. (And since Pastor Matt didn’t post a sermon recap, I guess I can say whatever I want.) At the same time, I’ve been reading Desperate for Hope, by Bruce W. Martin, and he just happens to have a few comments on that psalm:

“We embrace the promises of God about abundant life, but overlook (or ignore) the clear teachings in Scripture that guarantee suffering as well. Sometimes these promises are right next to each other, in the same passage of Scripture, but we sort of mentally edit them out. For instances in Psalm 23...

-God is my shepherd. Claim. I’m all about that!
-I don’t lack anything. Claim. That sounds good.
-He gives me green pastures to rest in. Claim. Resting in comfort is good
-He leads me beside still waters. Claim. No reason to risk drowning in whitewater.
-He restores my soul. Unclaim! Sounds like my soul could be in bad shape.
-I’ll walk through the valley of the shadow of death. Unclaim! Sounds a little scary.
-He’ll provide when I am surrounded by enemies. Unclaim! I'd rather not have any enemies.

“You get the picture. It’s not that we specifically, consciously ‘unclaim’ those things, we just read over them glibly without really thinking about the implications” (p. 107).

I don’t believe we spend much time thinking about the condition of our souls. Yes, we want to have our soul “saved” and have the assurance of eternal life, but what about daily life? We want to have our sins forgiven, but we don’t give much thought to God’s process of purifying us through sanctification.

I was thinking about this recently while reading Matthew 22 and the parable of the wedding feast. I used to think this was a rather unfair story. If you go out and invite people to a wedding, why would you then throw them out because they aren’t dressed for it? But if you read this alongside Matthew 7:21-23, you get the picture that even though some people receive the “invitation” to eternal life, and maybe even think they are doing good things for the kingdom, they never really acknowledge their need of a Savior and allow Him to clothe them in His righteousness. I suspect many churchgoers are looking forward to heaven without ever submitting to Jesus’ lordship over their lives. They may be startled to find out they aren’t “dressed” for the occasion.

Several times in the book Martin states, “God is more intent on perfecting us through trouble than on protecting us from trouble.” Or to put it in Psalm 23 language, He’s more concerned with the condition and destination of our soul than with avoiding the dark valleys. Speaking as one of the sheep, there have been plenty of times when I’ve questioned the Shepherd’s wisdom in taking me along certain paths. I’ve wondered if He is really doing what’s best, or maybe He’s off looking for a lost sheep somewhere while I stumble along on my own.

Psalm 23 and John 10 are reassuring reminders that the Good Shepherd really does know what He’s doing. He cares for each of the sheep (not just the flock as a whole); He knows the terrain and leads the sheep to the good places for food and water; and He knows that the dark valleys are safe enough to pass through. But the Shepherd doesn’t bother explaining to the sheep where they are going, how they’re going to get there, or why this path is necessary. We have to trust that He has it under control and that the end result will be for our best. Only when we truly trust the Shepherd will we find that peace that comes from dwelling in His presence and under His care.

“But I trust in You, O Lord; I say, ‘You are my God.’ My times are in Your hand…” (Psalm 31:14-15a).

Out of Control

Being out of control is rarely an enjoyable experience. Whether it is losing control on snowy roads (as I did a month ago) and watching the guardrail slide closer and closer, or facing unexpected or unwanted circumstances such as illness or unemployment, or even dealing with the inevitable results of aging, there are a lot of times when we just have to accept things that are beyond our control. And being out of control can create all kinds of emotional turmoil—fear, anger, depression, etc.

One of the books I’m reading currently is A New Kind of Normal: Hope-Filled Choices When Life Turns Upside Down, by Carol Kent. She shares her own story of having a son serving a life sentence for murder, but she also draws lessons from the life of Mary as she watched Jesus grow and eventually be crucified. There are many good points and quotes in the book, and one that stood out to me was this:

“I wish I could tell you I prayed that prayer of relinquishment and suddenly transformed into a woman with absolute trust in God for her son’s future, but that wouldn’t be true. I have to pray some form of that prayer every day, and sometimes multiple times a day. When you are living in a new kind of normal, relinquishment is an action step that often must be done daily as we get up, let go of our control over a person or a complicated situation, and move in a forward direction. It is never easy. It is never routine. It is hard work. But it is necessary.” (149)

I don’t know about you, but giving up control is not something that I really want to do. I like to control my environment, my work, my relationships, my emotions, etc. I suppose that’s one reason I’ve never wanted to get married—adding another person to my life also adds to my lack of control over all aspects of life. (I won’t even mention having kids!) I think we grow up with the illusion (or delusion) that the more we mature, the more control we’ll have. But it seems like God is shattering that illusion in my life. I’m realizing day by day how little I actually do have control over. And for a recovering perfectionist, that’s a scary realization.

I hadn’t really thought about it before, but there are plenty of examples in Scripture of people who were not in control of their circumstances—Joseph, Job, Peter, Paul, and yes, Mary. They went through some very difficult situations with varying degrees of faith in God. Carol Kent makes this observation, “Sometimes, when we have loss upon loss, we think we deserve to be in control of certain outcomes, if only to protect ourselves from additional hurt and pain. It seems the most irrational thing we can do is to let go one more time. We battle with conflicting emotions and ‘duke it out with God,’ sometimes through prayer, but occasionally by being obstinate... Letting go of our grip on predictable results and trusting God with our heart offering is one of the most challenging choices we make” (160).

As I’ve mentioned before, one of my often repeated prayers is “I do trust You, God. I know You are in control.” Sometimes that is an affirmation of my faith, but sometimes it is a reminder to me of the faith I should have. Sometimes I can willingly relinquish control to Him, but sometimes I only realize after the fact that I’ve lost control. When that happens, the fight to regain control is usually worse than just accepting the situation. Sleepless nights, anxiety, and anger don’t really accomplish anything besides making me feel worse. Perhaps one of these days I’ll learn to yield control to the One who is already in control. But this is a hard lesson to learn, and it doesn’t seem to get any easier the longer the lesson continues. And somehow I have a feeling that this isn’t the only lesson on God’s syllabus right now. In fact, I could name several that have been occurring simultaneously. In the meantime, I’ll close with Kent’s prayer:

“God, I release to You what I cannot control. I hold [this situation] with open hands. The Bible says Your angels set up a circle of protection around us while we pray. I need that circle right now, not just for protection but for comfort... As I relinquish my control over my dreams, I embrace Your new kind of normal for my life. Amen.” (159-160)

Words that Wound, Words that Heal

As I’ve been thinking about Sunday’s sermon on Wisdom & Words from Proverbs 4:20-27, a couple themes have come to mind. During the sermon I was thinking about the power of words to wound people. My first thought was of the verbal bashing that many of us endured in school from our peers. It seemed like everyone carried a sword with which to cut down anyone who was different in any way, in hopes of making themselves look a little taller. I remember a quote I read recently that basically said bullies are people who have been bullied. And unfortunately, a lot of that bullying begins at home with parents who are verbally abusive to their kids. (And those parents were probably abused as kids too.) The damage the tongue can do to a child is heartbreaking, both for that child and for those who truly love them.

Even good parents can cause wounds by the words they say or by the tone they use. Good words used in the wrong way can be hurtful. I think of a word that most people would consider a term of endearment, but there’s nothing endearing about it when it makes you feel about two inches tall. I don’t believe most parents intend to belittle their children, but when frustration or exasperation strikes, words come out the wrong way. What’s even more discouraging is that most of us don’t learn from our own mistakes or the mistakes of others. Even though we’ve all been hurt by careless words, very few people learn to tame the tongue (James 3).

On the flip side, there are words that bring life, healing, joy, and hope to the hurting soul. “I love you.” “I’m praying for you.” “You are special.” “God is at work in you.” These words and many others reflect vital truths that we all need to hear more often. Obviously, they can’t be repeated flippantly or thoughtlessly. Words like this require some degree of intimacy and vulnerability. The people who have the most power to either wound or heal with their words are the people we are closest to. A compliment from a stranger might be nice, but it doesn’t have the lasting impact of a kind word from a friend. I can testify to the life-giving and lifesaving power of words from those who have expressed their love and concern for me. And without exception, those people have been faithful both in praying for me and in reminding me of God’s love.

I’ve gone back to Philippians 4:8 (which I’d already forgotten was on my January “resolutions” list): “Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things” (ESV). I hadn’t considered until just now the fact that some of these terms refer to verbal actions. If something is commendable or praiseworthy, it would be a good idea to commend or praise the people involved! I wonder how different our world would be if Christians would take this verse as a command to not only think about these things, but to speak about them as well? Just thinking back over recent days, I could come up with several examples of our failure to do so. If we were busy speaking and thinking about these good things, it wouldn’t be nearly so hard to guard our hearts against the words that wound. We’ve all heard the saying, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” If that were heeded, the world would be a lot quieter place!

Although I am not one to speak a lot of words, I certainly think plenty of them. And I know that what I think is often not true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, or praiseworthy. I know what I need to work on, and I’m sure I’m not alone in that endeavor.

“Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger... If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless” (James 1:19,26).