Slave or Free

This blog will be a bit more theological than usual. I’ve been reading in Galatians this week, and something suddenly made more sense than it has in the past. Spending a couple years in Romans will do that to you. In Galatians 4:21-31 Paul is talking about Abraham’s children through Hagar and Sarah. Ishmael was born to Hagar the slave “according to the flesh” because Abraham thought he had to take things into his own hands to fulfill the promise of having an heir. Then Isaac was born to Sarah as the actual child of the promise. Paul goes on explain in verse 24 that these two women represent the two covenants—the Law and Grace, or flesh and Spirit.

Ishmael was the son of a slave, and the Law enslaves all of us (see Gal. 3:23). Isaac was born to the free woman through God’s promise, and all those who are in Christ are freed from the Law and are heirs of God (see 3:29).

What I find interesting is that we’re children of two different “mothers.” In the flesh we are children of slavery just as Ishmael was. We were born as slaves of the Law and we have no hope for freedom in and of ourselves. (It’s terrible to be a slave to a master you can never hope to please!) And yet through Christ we become children of the promise, freed from sin and the Law. “So, brothers, we are not children of the slave but of the free woman” (v. 31). Not only do we have a new mother, but a new Father as well. We no longer belong to the father of lies (John 8:44), but we belong to God the Father (1 John 3:1).

Unfortunately, just as Ishmael persecuted Isaac, so we too have to deal with the battle between flesh and Spirit throughout this lifetime. Even though the flesh has been “dethroned” and should have no power over us, it’s a constant challenge to learn to listen to our real Father and obey Him. That’s the whole point of the book of Galatians. “For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery” (5:1). I can practically hear Paul yelling at them (and all believers), “You’re free! Don’t live like a slave to sin! Ignore the old master! Listen to the Spirit and you won’t be listening to the flesh!”

I think we’d all agree that’s easier said than done. Even the venerable Apostle Paul said the same thing in Romans 7:15-25. The battle rages within us. Temptation seems so strong and its fruit so desirable. Paul reminds us in Romans 6:21-22, “But what fruit were you getting at that time from the things of which you are now ashamed? For the end of those things is death. But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the fruit you get leads to sanctification and its end, eternal life.” The fruit of sin will never really satisfy, and only leads to a desire for more sin. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control… And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires” (Gal. 5:22-24).

We can take heart that we’re not in this alone. This civil war started in the Garden of Eden and will continue until the end of time. Even though the war has already been won, there are daily battles being fought within each of us. One day we’ll get to see the final victory over sin and death, and by faith and grace we will be on the winning side.

In the meantime, may we often be reminded of our freedom in Christ. Our chains are gone!

Longing for Heaven

I wonder if everyone has the same difficulty that I have in imagining what the kingdom of heaven will be like? In our imaginings, can we even create a place we’d actually want to stay for eternity? I’d have to say that I’m rarely so inspired. Most of my thoughts of eternity are of those things that will be absent there—no more pain, sorrow, sin and shame, failing bodies, frustrating work, or irritating people. I often long for the day when those things will be gone, but I give little thought to what is beyond that.

One definition of “ethereal” is heavenly or celestial; but another definition is light, airy, or tenuous. The common illustrations of heaven are so insubstantial and inconsequential as to be unappealing to all but a few. Fluffy clouds and harps? Does that appeal to anyone? Don’t we long for something of substance, weighty and meaningful?

The few pictures of heaven from Scripture don’t do much to excite me either. The images from the book of Revelation are too bizarre to make me say “I want to be there,” (except perhaps in an idle curiosity as to what those creatures are actually going to look like). The thought of the wedding supper of the Lamb is tainted by memories of awkward meals with strangers, or even worse, memories of junior high cafeteria cliques. I wouldn’t mind the occasional Gaither-style homecoming concert, though not forever.

Brent Curtis and John Eldredge point out in The Sacred Romance that one key factor of heaven is intimacy. We will know God and be known by Him as the dearest of friends (see 1 Cor. 13:12). I don’t think that is going to be experienced as a crowd of people bowing down before the throne. That doesn’t sound at all intimate, or even enjoyable. C.S. Lewis writes in The Weight of Glory, “The sense that in this universe we are treated as strangers, the longing to be acknowledged, to meet with some response, to bridge some chasm that yawns between us and reality, is part of our inconsolable secret. And surely, from this point of view, the promise of glory, in the sense described, becomes highly relevant to our deep desire. For glory meant good report with God, acceptance by God, response, acknowledgment, and welcome into the heart of things.”

Jesus says, “I go to prepare a place for you” (John 14:2). He’s not just preparing a general place for all believers, but a place for me. He’s preparing a place that each one of us can call home. My idea of the perfect meal would be a quiet dinner with a few close friends, enjoying one another and sharing laughter. The perfect evening might be spent watching the sun setting and the stars appearing one by one. I’d rather have a cabin in the country than a room in a mansion. One of my favorite recurring dreams is of going swimming and finding I can breathe under water. It would be awesome to go reef diving without special gear and without fear. I believe God is creative enough to satisfy each person’s deepest desires. And with the new heavens and new earth, there will be plenty of space for a wide variety of opportunities.

Other authors have pointed out that just as the original creation began with God’s work and included a form of work for mankind (tending the garden), so the new creation will include work. It will begin with God’s re-creation of heaven and earth (Rev. 21). I don’t suppose we’ll hear the command to “be fruitful and multiply,” but somehow mankind will have a purpose to fulfill as well. No longer will work be arduous and frustrating, but something we can enjoy and glorify God with. We probably can’t even begin to imagine what God will have us doing because we have nothing on this earth with which to compare it.

The enemy uses our misconceptions of heaven for his purposes. If heaven is not a place that we long for, what is our motivation for sharing the gospel? That’s like trying to get someone excited about going to the dentist. Sure it’s necessary, but you won’t enjoy it.

If our ideas of heaven create a sense of boredom or perhaps even revulsion, we can be sure they must be wrong. C.S. Lewis says, “If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that I was made for another world.” Curtis & Eldredge suggest that our three essential desires are intimacy, beauty, and adventure. We may use different terminology, but the idea is that those things which stir our longings in this life are windows to the life to come. Perhaps as we think about what we desire most deeply, we will begin to imagine what that other world may look like. And then we can look forward to that day with hope and anticipation. Otherwise we’re just biding our time until the pain of this life is over, and there is no hope in that.

“Blessed by the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to His great mercy, He has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you” (1 Peter 1:3-4).

Roller Coaster Faith

I’m not a big fan of roller coasters, or of theme parks in general for that matter, though I’ve been to several over the years. In high school our band went to Disney World, and of course I had to ride Space Mountain. In the middle of the ride, the cars came to a stop and the lights came on inside the mountain. There was some malfunction that they had to fix. They let us all ride a second time so we could get the full experience. Somehow the ride isn’t the same once you’ve seen that the tracks just circle around inside an undecorated dome. But I’d prefer to see where I’m going anyway.

Sometimes it feels like life is a roller coaster in the dark. We are never quite sure whether we’re headed uphill, about to drop off a cliff, or taking a sudden turn. At least as Christians we have the assurance that we’re buckled into the car and staying on God’s tracks. Eventually the ride will end safely for us no matter where it takes us in the meantime. “All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be” (Psalm 139:16 NIV).

We’d probably all love to see where the tracks are going in the coming days, months, and years, but only God knows those details and He isn’t telling. If we could see the big drop coming, we’d probably get anxious about it or try to change the tracks. Instead, when we find ourselves heading for the valley we have to trust that God still has His hand on us. And if we could see a coming mountain, we might worry that the climb will be too arduous. Yet the Father is the one making it possible by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Jesus said, “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble” (Matt. 6:34 ESV). And Paul reminded us, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God” (Phil. 4:6 ESV). God knows that we are weak and we can’t handle full knowledge of the future and still keep trusting Him. Today is enough trouble, and these few hours are enough to test our faith. If we can’t trust Him for our daily bread, how can we trust Him with life, family, career, and even death? If we know exactly what the future holds, why would we need faith?

I guess what makes some people love roller coasters is the adrenaline rush of being out of control, yet they know in the back of their mind that everything is completely under control. It feels dangerous and yet it isn’t. I would bet that there are some people who have ridden Space Mountain so many times that they have the track almost memorized. Would that still be as fun?

Part of the joy of being a Christian is that no matter what happens we are under the Master’s control. We can sit back and enjoy the ride with our fellow believers because we know the final destination. One day we’ll get to look back and see that all the mountains, valleys, and turns in our lives weren’t nearly so bad as we’d imagined at the time. Everything was used for a purpose and accomplished God’s will in our lives. But for now we’ll have to look ahead and face each day with faith and hope.

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future’” (Jer. 29:11 NIV).

Holding On

I’ve been wrestling with several Scriptures lately (ESV):

• Jude 24-25- Now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy, to the only God, our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever.
• 1 Corinthians 10:13- No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.
• Romans 6:14- For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace.
• 1 John 3:9- No one born of God makes a practice of sinning, for God's seed abides in him, and he cannot keep on sinning because he has been born of God.

Those verses, along with others, seem to present a dilemma for the believer. If these promises are true, why do we continue to struggle with sin day after day and year after year? You would think that if God can keep us from falling He would do so. But even when we pray “lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil” (Matt. 6:13), victory over sin begins to sound like a pipe dream.

As I was trying to make sense of this for myself, I started reading Max Lucado’s A Gentle Thunder and, big surprise, found an answer I can grasp—literally! He talks about climbing a simulated rock wall and losing his grip. He fell just a short distance because he was harnessed in and his spotter was doing his job. After dangling a few seconds he was able to resume his climb and get to the top of the wall. What might have happened if he had fallen all the way to the ground? What if he gave up and refused to try again? Can you picture a grown man hanging there and crying to be let down?

That presents a good mental image of the consequences of sin for the believer. Yes, we lose our grip on truth and our feet slip. But we don’t go crashing to the ground, never to climb again. We may fall a few feet, but we’re not back where we started because we’re secured to the Rock of Ages. The fact is that God does keep us from falling as far or as often as we would without Him, but I think we tend to lose sight of that. We get discouraged because we aren’t completely free from all the old temptations, but we don’t stop to think where we’d be if we weren’t Christians. For myself, that picture of the alternate life is pretty ugly, which should make me even more thankful that God has brought freedom and growth into my life by His grace.

We have to be careful that we don’t think about the climbing wall as our path to salvation though. Salvation is more like the harness that we allow God to strap on while we’re still standing on the ground. Without the harness we can’t even begin to climb, but with it we are secure regardless of how far or how well we may climb. The wall itself shows our growth in obedience, and each step requires faith that we’ll be safe in His hands even if we do make a mistake.

“If the Lord delights in a man’s way, He makes his steps firm; though he stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with His hand” (Psalm 27:23-24 NIV). This verse is a reminder that even when we desire to live in obedience we will stumble, but God has a grip on us and won’t let go. The next time you fall, remember Who holds your hand!

Private Faith?

I came across the following quote from Henri Nouwen in The Road to Daybreak:

“[T]he distinction between the private and the public sphere of life is a false distinction and has created many of the problems we are struggling with in our day. In the Christian life the distinction between a private life (just for me!) and a public life (for the others) does not exist. For the Christian, even the most hidden fantasies, thoughts, feelings, emotions, and actions are a service or a disservice to the community. I can never say, ‘What I think, feel or do in my private time is nobody else’s business.’ It is everyone’s business! The mental and spiritual health of a community depends largely on the way its members live their most personal lives as a service to their fellow human beings.”

How often do we hear “My faith is my own business”? How often do we see people who don’t regularly participate in the life of the church because they feel that they don’t need the community and aren’t needed by the community? Nouwen really stabs at the heart of the issue. And it makes sense when we remember that the church is the Body of Christ. As Paul said, “If the foot should say, ‘Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,’ that would not make it any less a part of the body… The eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I have no need of you’” (1 Cor. 12:15, 21). I think we have a lot of hands and feet and eyes that are forsaking their roles because they don’t realize they are all needed and they need one another.

American culture in particular has fostered the independent mentality. Most of us have our own houses and our own transportation. We have fenced yards and separate bedrooms for each of the kids. Our goal is financial security and self-sufficiency. So why then would we want to give up our independence and become accountable to someone else for our thoughts, words, and actions? In other parts of the world, where single-room homes are shared and families are reliant upon the whole village for subsistence, it is much more obvious how one person has an impact on everyone else.

Besides independence, we have developed a consumer mentality as well. “What’s in it for me” is the question lurking in the minds of many church-goers. Is there an upcoming church event, program, fundraiser, committee opening? Why should I commit my time to something if I’m not going to get anything out of it? As we’ve said in our H2H group, the question we should be asking is “What do I have to contribute to the needs I see?”

In his book Love, Acceptance & Forgiveness, Jerry Cook gives a great example of a woman asking about their visitation program because she had a list of people to be visited. He told her, “We have what is probably one of the best visitation programs of any church in the world… and you’re it; you are the visitation committee.” He goes on to say, “Our… program has the simplest structure in the world: you see the need, you meet it” (p. 105). How much time and energy would be saved by members of the Body of Christ responding directly to a need rather than forming a committee or asking the pastor to do something? But that doesn’t often happen if my faith is my own, my time is my own, and I’m not accountable to anyone besides myself.

Part of the problem may be that church members have come to believe that ministry is the job of the pastor and the rest of us are just supporters. Jerry Cook writes, “Preparing God’s people—that’s my job, and that’s a whole different ball game from doing the ministry myself. The church needs to place its members in a healing environment of love, acceptance and forgiveness. We must bring people to wholeness in such an environment, equip them, and then release them” (p. 48).

From the warnings in Matthew 7:21-27 (“Depart from me, I never knew you”), and the parable of the talents in Matthew 25:14-30, I think many church-goers will find themselves ashamed at the final judgment to realize that they did not obey the Lord’s commands. How many times did Jesus have to tell us, “Love one another,” “Love your neighbor,” “As you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me”? We have material and spiritual blessings galore, and yet serving the Body and giving to those in need is not even on our radar.

In answer to the question “What’s in it for me,” I think there are several biblical answers and this is just a partial list:

• Correction- Galatians 6:1- “Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness.”
• Comfort- Romans 12:15- “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.”
• Strength- Ecclesiastes 4:12- “And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”
• Encouragement- 1 Thessalonians 11,14- “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up… admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all.”
• Good Harvest- Galatians 6:9- “Let us now grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.”
• Eternal Reward- 1 Corinthians 3:14-15 “If the work that anyone has built on the foundation survives, he will receive a reward. If anyone’s work is burned up, he will suffer loss, though he himself will be saved, but only as through fire.”
• Praise from the Father- Matthew 25:21- “Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much.”

I’ll close with the words of Paul, “Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is” (Eph. 5:15-17).

Godly Lives

I’ve been thinking lately about godly womanhood. I don’t like the term “femininity” as that seems to be loaded with cultural bias. I’m not talking about whether women can be ordained (as my grandmother was), or what roles they should hold in the church and family. I just want to know what it means to be a woman in love with God.

With that thought in mind I read Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman’s Soul, by John & Stasi Eldredge. I picked it up somewhat in protest. I had read the book jacket a few times in the past and was turned off by the book’s basic thesis. Sure enough, the first chapter frustrated me. (Have you ever yelled at a book?) They state that the three foundational desires of a woman’s heart are 1) to be romanced, 2) to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, and 3) to unveil beauty (p. 8). I’m not sure I can identify with any of those “desires.” Perhaps it is just the terminology used. Romance? No thanks; but I do desire love. Adventure? Not really; though a sense of purpose is essential. Beauty? Nope; but acceptance is important.

It doesn’t help that many of the descriptions used in the book are things I haven’t experienced (or at least don’t remember from childhood) and don’t care to try. Games of “kidnapped and rescued,” playing dress up, twirling skirts, and later candlelight dinners and ballroom dancing... Not my cup of cocoa. I realize that all authors write from what they know and have experienced, and not all books will speak to me in the same way.

There were some good points in the book—that we have to find our identity and value in Christ and not from society; true beauty comes from within; and we each have a unique role to fill. Their interpretation of some of those roles was another point of frustration for me, but that’s a discussion for another day.

I was reminded of a movie we watched during Spanish class in high school. A blind man fell in love with the nurse who cared for him. After surgery enabled him to see, the first person he saw was a beautiful woman and he assumed it must be the caring nurse. (I don’t recall how they explained the difference in voices.) The whole class wondered how he knew what physical beauty was since he’d always been blind, and why did he equate physical beauty with relational caring?

It’s interesting to look at the references to beauty throughout Scripture. Many refer to God’s beauty, and many warn of the dangers of chasing physical beauty. “But let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious” (1 Peter 3:4). What is a quiet spirit? I believe it is a spirit that trusts in God in all things. When things don’t make sense, when the world is asking “why”, when the enemy tempts us to worry and fear, the quiet spirit says “God, I trust Your will and rest in Your love.” This is a spirit that is not striving to make things happen or demanding explanations. “In returning [to God] and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and trust shall be your strength” (Isaiah 30:15).

This is the kind of trust exhibited by Mary when the angel told her she would bear the Messiah: “Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word” (Luke 1:38). Mary was shown to be a godly woman both by her lifestyle up to this time and by her acceptance of God’s plan even when it didn’t make sense from a human viewpoint. The rest of her life would require great trust as she saw the persecution and pain that would follow Jesus even from the time of His birth.

When you look at the many women praised in Scripture, there are very few generalizations that can be made about them. Think not only of Mary but of Hannah, Esther, Ruth, Deborah, Mary Magdalene, Phoebe, Tryphena and Tryphosa, Lois and Eunice, and numerous others. They all lived very different lives and demonstrated their faith in different ways. The commonality is that they had faith in God and they trusted His plan through some difficult times. I’m not sure we can come up with any clearer definition of a godly woman. Even the description in Proverbs 31 is hard to translate into our modern times, except for verse 30: “Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”

In a society where more than half of women are currently single, it can be dangerous to describe womanhood in terms of marriage and family. And women now hold as many different job titles as men do. So the definition of a godly woman can’t be based on what we do for a living or how we relate to people. It has to be based on the one thing that never changes—God. He has called us to believe in Him and trust Him. He calls us His beloved children and His love will never fail. Our daily life should be a response to that love, no matter what the circumstances of our life may look like.

I realize that the same holds true for men, so perhaps there is no distinction between godly womanhood and godly manhood. Every person is unique and every life of faith will look different—male or female, married or single, parent or childless. When we start prescribing roles for men and women, we run the risk of alienating large groups of people. I’m not suggesting we ignore biblical mandates. However, there are a lot of grey areas that the Bible leaves to our judgment.

I once wrote an article for the Advent Christian Witness titled “Single and Satisfied.” One reader felt that I was just griping about being pigeonholed and that it should not have been published. My point then and now is that we don’t all have the same desires or the same calling. I thank God often that the Apostle Paul was led to include 1 Corinthians 7 in Scripture. That chapter is a reminder to us that we should be more concerned about doing God’s will than we are about finding a spouse. If marriage is in God’s will for an individual, He can make it happen in His own time and way. And whether it is or isn’t in God’s plans for us, we should find our contentment and fulfillment in who God has made us to be. Culture—even Christian culture—does not define who we are. Only God has that privilege.

Therefore, as godly women and godly men, let us “walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to Him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God” (Col. 1:10).

Theology of Emotions

After our Wednesday night discussion of emotions a couple things have come to mind. One question I had was whether the philosophy of Stoicism has had an impact on the Christian view of emotions. I found the following quote: “The emotions were viewed as irrational and intemperate and as a sign of weakness, dependence, and contingency. As a result, the Stoic ideal of apatheia became the ideal and this idea was imposed upon God… It is because of a Stoic bias, not Scripture, that some say God does not care about our emotions, but only our holiness…”
(http://biblicalcounselingcoalition.org/resources/toward-a-theology-of-emotion).

It appears then that in some areas the church has bought into the idea that emotions are dangerous and are to be suppressed. This particular site goes on to say, “contrary to the Stoical tendency to view emotion as a nuisance are many biblical commands to experience particular emotions. We are instructed to hate sin, rejoice always, delight and be glad in the Lord, weep with those who weep, grieve like those who have hope, and fear God… Serving God rightly requires right emotions.”

I’ve heard from multiple sources “Don’t trust your emotions!” While I agree that emotions can be more highly charged than a situation demands, and may indeed be inappropriate, they are also indicators of what’s going on inside. “As biblical counselors we often treat emotions as if, at best, they serve as a sort of flashing light on the dashboard of our lives warning us that something has gone wrong under the hood… There’s some truth to that. Emotions certainly aren’t ‘free agents’ operating independently of our beliefs. But relegating them to the category of ‘symptom’ doesn’t quite do justice to the functions the Bible assigns to emotions”
(http://www.ccef.org/do-biblical-counselors-give-emotions-bad-name).

What then are we to do with our emotions? There are probably a lot of possibilities, and I’ll name just a few.

1) Investigate the roots of emotions. They may reveal unmet desires and expectations, in which case we need to know whether those desires are legitimate and godly or not. Godly sorrow leads to repentance (2 Cor. 7:10). Ungodly anger leads to unrighteousness (Psalm 37:8). Godly grief looks forward with hope for eternity (1 Thess. 4:13). The roots of emotions may also reveal unconfessed sin, unresolved conflicts, and unhealed wounds. As those things come to light, there will probably be some steps to take to move forward.

2) Listen to your body. Our culture thrives on overwork, lack of sleep, lack of exercise, calorie overload, sugar and caffeine highs, alcohol lows, etc. It’s little wonder that we’re often emotional basket-cases. We could probably all use some time to “detox” from everything we’re doing to ourselves. Take some time to relax; eat better; sleep more; eliminate activities from the schedule; simplify. In short, take care of the body God gave you because it needs to last a lifetime.

3) Glorify God with your whole being. The Psalms are full of a wide range of emotions. It is evident that God never intended for us to ignore such a significant piece of ourselves. Jesus wept, rejoiced, and became angry. We too can respond to God emotionally in whatever way He leads. Some Christian traditions have taught that Christianity isn’t supposed to be fun, holiness requires an unemotional objectivity, or depression is just self-centeredness. I don’t see evidence for any of that in Scripture. I see Jesus enjoying a wedding reception (John 2:2). I see David dancing with reckless abandon before the Ark of the Covenant (1 Chron. 15:29). I see a despondent Elijah being sustained and encouraged by the Lord (1 Kings 19:4).

4) Encourage one another in love. One way we can glorify God is to support one another in the Body of Christ. “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another” (Romans 12:15-16). Don’t pass judgment on those who see life differently, but walk alongside them as a brother or sister in Christ.

Emotions aren’t wrong in and of themselves. Acknowledge them, feel them, and explore them. Suppressing emotions only seems to lead to trouble. Telling someone to “Get over it, just move on,” communicates that they are wrong (which adds guilt) and that you know better than them (which adds shame). I don’t think any of us are qualified to judge some else’s emotions if we haven’t lived inside their head their whole life.

No matter how dark the day may seem, “I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord” (Psalm 27:13-14).