In a recent episode of the Russell Moore podcast he interviewed Scott Sauls, who shared about a time he was out for a walk and heard himself say aloud, “You suck.” As he reflected on what had led to that declaration, he realized he was remembering something he had done in high school that hurt a friend, and for which he had apologized repeatedly. His experience of self-condemnation for past actions is probably one that many of us can relate to.
The Apostle Paul gives us an interesting panorama of human experience. On one hand he makes statements like this:
“I thank Him who has given me strength, Christ Jesus our Lord, because He judged me faithful, appointing me to His service, though formerly I was a blasphemer, persecutor, and insolent opponent. But I received mercy… Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost” (1 Tim. 1:12-13, 15).
But he also says:
“…forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 3:13-14).
But what exactly is it he says he is forgetting? The first part of Philippians 3 is the recitation of his Jewish “pedigree” as one who can claim “as to righteousness under the law [I was] blameless” (v. 6). It was stuff that most of the people who knew him would consider admirable. When you compare Philippians with 1 Timothy, Paul doesn’t really seem to be saying, “Just forget everything about your past and live in the present.” I’m coming to understand it more as “Remember your past but keep it in proper perspective.” That fits better with his statements in Ephesians:
“Therefore remember that at one time you Gentiles in the flesh… remember that you were at that time separated from Christ, alienated from the commonwealth of Israel and strangers to the covenants of promised, having no hope and without God in the world” (Eph. 2:11-12).
When we consider the past, there are several things we need to remember:
1) Apart from Christ, any good that we have done or accomplishments we’ve achieved are likely to be tied to pride and self-righteousness. Therefore we need to remember that our good works cannot save us and are in fact nothing compared to Christ’s perfection.
2) If we are now Christians, any sin that we have committed (past or present) is forgiven and covered by Jesus’ death on our behalf. Therefore we can remember that we are loved, accepted, and free from condemnation.
3) God uses our sin and weakness to remind us of our need for Him. He uses all things for the good of conforming us to the image of Christ (Rom. 8:28-29), and in our weakness His grace becomes evident so that He gets the glory and not us (2 Cor. 12:9).
I often remind myself of Romans 8:1: “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” However, I don’t always remember that it follows after Paul’s description in Romans 7 of the struggle:
“So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from his body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin” (7:21-25).
Theologians disagree as to whether this is referring to one’s experience before conversion or after conversion. (I agree with John Piper that it is post-conversion.) However, I think the greater point is that only in Christ can we find freedom from condemnation. It takes a lifetime of learning and growth to “put on the new self” (Eph. 4:24) and to “walk as children of light” (Eph. 5:8). In the meantime, shame and guilt will continue to rear up in us—from painful memories, from the influence of the world, or from the accusations of the devil. When they do, we can cling to the truth that our sins are forgiven and God still loves us. “For I will be merciful toward their iniquities, and I will remember their sins no more” (Heb. 8:12 quoted from Jer. 31:34). His love will never fail.
“My soul continually remembers it and is bowed down within me. But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness” (Lam. 3:20-23).
© 2022 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.
