Not My Job

Sometime during the night I was thinking about Matthew 14 (and parallels in the other Gospels) where Jesus has been teaching the people. At the end of the day the disciples suggest that Jesus should send the crowds away to find food. Jesus responds, “They need not go away; you give them something to eat” (Matt. 14:16). He knew perfectly well that they didn’t have enough food on hand to serve more than 5000 people. He already knew how He planned to provide the food for them. I was reminded of an interview where Dallas Jenkins said,

“God does impossible math... Your job is not to feed the 5000 but to give Him your loaves and fish… My job is not to worry about the impact or to worry about the multiplication, it’s just to make sure whatever loaves and fish I do provide are as good and healthy as they can be.”

Some of us are pretty good at worrying about the details. “How is this going to work?” “What if...?” My personality leads to me look for all the answers before anyone asks me the questions, because I don’t want to look ignorant or incompetent. (Yeah, I know, pride and shame are flip sides of the same coin.) I have to be reminded often “That’s not your job.” Not only is it impossible for any person to know all the answers or to have all the resources, God actually delights in showing up in our weakness.

He can multiply resources in ways we never even imagined. He has answers to questions we never thought of asking. He arranges circumstances for events we never expected. All He asks is that we keep showing up and giving Him what little we have to offer, in particular through the spiritual gifts He has given us.

“Having gifts that differ according to the grace give to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness” (Rom. 12:6-8).

We each do our small part and trust God for the outcome. Part of the challenge, at least for me, is in discerning where my part ends and God’s begins. I could research, study, and plan for eons and never feel like I’m done. There comes a time when we each have to say, “I’ve done what I know to do,” and let it go. If God wants something to happen, He can do it without me figuring out all the details. In fact, He will get more glory if I end up saying, “Oh, I never would have thought of that.”

Even the disciples didn’t get it. Shortly after the feeding of the 5000, they had the same question with a crowd of 4000. “Where are we to get enough bread in such a desolate place to feed so great a crowd?” (Matt. 15:33). Human math just doesn’t quite add up when God is involved. At such times, I think it is okay (though hard) to say, “God, I can’t make sense of this, so I guess my job is to trust You now.”

In what is becoming one of my favorite scenes in the Gospels, a man brought his son to the disciples and asked them to cast out the evil spirit that was tormenting him. The disciples were failing miserably when Jesus showed up and proclaimed, “All things are possible for one who believes.” The father cried out, “I believe; help my unbelief!” (Mark 9:23-24). The disciples hadn’t yet figured out that they didn’t have the power to do anything apart from God. The job for the disciples, as for all of us, is to believe God can do and will do things we could never ask or imagine, because that’s His job.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths” (Prov. 3:5-6).

© 2025 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Upside Down

“You who have made me see many troubles and calamities will revive me again; from the depths of the earth You will bring me up again” (Psalm 71:20).

I have mixed feelings about this particular verse. It is a precious promise of what God can do and will do for His children. And yet that first phrase is a little scary. “You made me see troubles and calamities”? Does God cause suffering? A parallel might be the opening of the book of Job. Satan attacks Job, yet it is only by God’s permission. Or in Genesis 50:20, Joseph tells his brothers, “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive as they are today.”

Scripture is clear that God is sovereign over all things, yet He clearly allows evil things to happen even to people who love Him dearly. And since our days were written “when as yet there was none of them” (Ps. 139:16), God planned from the beginning exactly how He was going to use sin and suffering for His own good purposes in our lives.

In my imagination, I picture God writing out the book of our lives and asking Satan, “OK, what would you like to happen to this person? … Ah ha, I’ll permit that and then flip it upside down so that they and their family members come to rely on Me!” No matter what Satan comes up with, God holds the winning card.

Although we don’t know who wrote Psalm 71, it could certainly be a reflection of David’s life. As a young man he was ignored or condemned by his brothers. He was chosen by God to become the king, but spent years on the run from King Saul. He lived in an era when war was an annual event, with some wins and some losses. He made some bad decisions that included getting Bathsheba pregnant and then conspiring to murder her husband. His own son plotted against him to steal the kingdom away. And yet in all this he kept turning to God in faith over and over again. David faced many troubles and calamities, but God was never far away.

Charles Spurgeon wrote about this psalm, “Here is faith’s inference from the infinite greatness of the Lord. He has been strong to smite; he will be also strong to save. He has shown me many heavy and severe trials, and he will also show me many and precious mercies.” Spurgeon wasn’t referring to merely theoretical trials. He had plenty of controversy to deal with in his ministry, as well as physical and emotional struggles. By faith he trusted that God’s good purposes would prevail.

I don’t know what God is planning to do through the things that hurt me or those I love. I may never know in this lifetime. I hope that my faith is growing stronger along the way, and that there are fewer valleys of doubt. I have not arrived on the mountaintop nor can I see it ahead. But I can say with certainty that I would not be where I am if it were not for God’s “many and precious mercies” reviving me and bearing me up along the way. I believe that we can hold onto Jesus’ promise to His disciples:

“Truly, truly, I say to you, you will weep and lament, but the world will rejoice. You will be sorrowful, but your sorrow will turn into joy… So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you” (John 16:20, 22).

© 2025 Dawn Rutan. Photo from one of my many hikes on the Rough Ridge trail near Blowing Rock, NC. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Blessed

The following is something I wrote for my denomination’s women’s ministry email for May.

Have you ever scrolled through social media and seen comments like:

Got engaged today! #Blessed
New grandchild! #Blessed
Just missed being in a car accident! #Blessed
Test results clear! #Blessed

I often think to myself, what if the circumstances were different? Are we only blessed when things are going well? In our culture there is a clear assumption that the beatitudes should say things like:

Blessed are the rich, for they can buy whatever they want.
Blessed are the powerful, for they can control the people around them.
Blessed are the healthy, for they need no one to help them.
Blessed are those in favorable circumstances, for they shall have no worries.

But that’s certainly not what Jesus said in Matthew 5. He proclaimed blessings on the poor in spirit, mourners, meek, hungry for righteousness, merciful, pure in heart, peacemakers, and even the persecuted—in short, all the people our culture tends to look down on and try to avoid. Sure, it’s nice to enjoy good circumstances, but that’s not usually the things that grow our faith.

I love the Apostle Paul’s words in 2 Corinthians 12:9 (ESV), “But [the Lord] said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” And James reminds us, “Count it all joy, my brothers [and sisters], when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing” (1:2-4). Times of trial and hardship can result in the blessing of spiritual growth.

I was reading in Deuteronomy of the blessings of obedience and the curses of disobedience proclaimed to the nation of Israel as they entered the Promised Land. That might sound very legalistic unless you remember the new covenant in Jesus’ blood. He bore our curses so that we may be eternally blessed (Gal. 3:13-14). We have the blessing of forgiveness now and life in His kingdom forever.

This life is often painful, and happiness may be hard to find at times, but for the Christian there is never a time when we are not blessed. I can testify that my faith is much stronger today because of times of difficulty, loneliness, and depression. When people have failed to take good care of me, I am blessed to know that Jesus is always there for me. When sorrows have felt overwhelming, I am blessed to remember that God comforts the brokenhearted. When life is painful, I am blessed because I’m sure this is not the end of the story. No matter what my circumstances, I know that I am blessed because I am a child of the one true King, and He will never let me go.

“Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning” (Ps. 30:5b), and one day “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away” (Rev. 21:4).

#SoBlessed!

© 2025 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.