The focus in Crabb’s book is that we are inclined to work from the outside in—we work to make our external circumstances more comfortable, then we build relationships, and we hope to find satisfaction now and for the future. What we should be doing is building our relationship with God, then building godly relationships with others, and we’ll find joy regardless of our circumstances. A big part of the problem, as Crabb explains it, is that we demand that people fulfill needs that only God can fill, and we demand that God fulfill our needs in a way that won’t happen in this lifetime. So we live with constant disappointment that we aren’t getting what we think we need. While Crabb’s theory is pretty accurate, it’s also discouraging to be told, “Get over yourself and live with the disappointment.” (Interestingly, his later book Connecting takes a whole new direction with the joy of living in community with one another. I’ll probably include some of that in a later blog.)
I think it can be valuable to consider how we might be walking past God’s wellspring of life and digging our own wells. It may be outright sin, which we either indulge in or try to control through behavior modification. It may be pain, depression and anxiety, which we may medicate, seek counseling, or try to muddle through. It may be relationships, work, church, or any number of things. We want to feel good and enjoy life, but sometimes things just don’t work out that way. So what do we do when things go wrong? Do we try everything in our power to “fix” it, or do we trust that God is in control and He knows what He’s doing? Not that we shouldn’t seek help, but sometimes we need to let God work things out in His own way. For myself, I’ve discovered that years of seeing doctors and trying innumerable medications have been less beneficial than finding faith, hope, and love in community.
Whitall Smith says this, “The
Both Crabb and Whitall Smith make the point that an attitude of grumbling or complaining comes from blaming God for the things He has allowed to come into our lives. We think that we deserve better treatment from God, or else we believe that He is not in control, so we feel justified in griping when things don’t go our way. Instead, we are to believe His sovereignty, trust His goodness, and give thanks. If nothing else, we can be thankful that He is with us in all circumstances and He loves us more than we can imagine. We’re like children who eat meal after meal without comment so long as it is something we like. But when a distasteful food comes along everybody in the house hears our complaint. That’s usually when we get reminded of the starving children in
I have to confess that as I’ve read Hannah Whitall Smith’s writings in The God of All Comfort and The Christian’s Secret of a Happy Life, sometimes I’ve been frustrated with her blanket statements—just believe, don’t doubt, have faith, give thanks, don’t complain, pray! Those are much easier said than done when we face difficulties in life. But I think it probably does get easier with practice. At times my prayers have been, “Lord, I believe—help my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24); or “Increase my faith!” (Luke 17:5). I’m certain that God honors those prayers.
For today I’ll remind myself with Psalm 100 that God is the good, loving Creator and Shepherd who is worthy of thanks and praise:
1 Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth!
2 Serve the Lord with gladness!
Come into His presence with singing!
3 Know that the Lord, He is God!
It is He who made us, and we are His;
we are His people, and the sheep of His pasture.
4 Enter His gates with thanksgiving,
and His courts with praise!
Give thanks to Him; bless His name!
5 For the Lord is good;
His steadfast love endures forever,
and His faithfulness to all generations.